Maddie, Madoue, Madness
by Roxanne Woods
Summary: Madeline Gilbert is just trying to live from day to day with her best friend, the not so lovely - and literally - Eternal Headache From Hell. She doesn't need anymore problem or a world bigger than she has always thought. The arrival of Stefan Salvatore, a complete weirdo with an even weirder kink, definitely doesn't help her or the voices in her head.
1. Bullshit and kinky guy

Hello there :) So, I published the first few chapters of this fic a while ago Under another name before I deleted. Just so you know, it was a one time thing, I was in a bad place in real life and while I love ff . net, it was time-consuming. I really needed to distance myself from it. And well, when I do something, I tend to do it in a very extreme way, thus the removal. Now I'm working to feel better, and writing is just a too big part of my life so after thinking, I'm going to continue this fic and put it back here. I've changed my writer name, though, so it's a new start :)

Disclaimer: I only put it now for the whole fic, but The Vampire Diaries is definitely not mine and I don't win any money on it. But I can dream, right?

Enjoy! :)

* * *

 _It was cold and dark. And quiet, too, for she couldn't hear anything besides Sebastian's struggling breathing and her own painful sobs. Everything was hurting. The car was sinking. Water had already reached her chest. They couldn't move. They were stuck in the death trap which was Sebastian's car. They would die. If only she had not begged him to go with her at that stupid party. If only she had not gone behind her parents' back. If only…_

 _She was so cold and terrified. There was a grinding noise coming from the car as it sank and sank, and sank._

 _A hand, cold but comforting, grasped hers. Water reached her chin. She turned her head and her watery blue eyes met the green eyes of Sebastian. She loved his eyes. They were always full of mirth and love and peace. Now they were sad and broken. Full of despair. It hurt. It hurt so much._

" _It's…going to be o-okay love," he said in a tearful voice. " You're going to be okay."_

 _She shook her head and cried, "It's not Seb. It's my fault. I'm so sorry."_

 _He squeezed her hand. "Don't be," he smiled sorrowfully. "I love you."_

 _She wanted to answer, to tell him she loved him too, to tell him she hoped they'll meet again in their next life. She wanted to tell him how wonderful a person he was. There were so many thing still unsaid. So many things that will never be said. But she couldn't, for water had reached her lips and it was a question of seconds before it reached her nose._

 _His eyes looked beyond her and widened. He squeezed one last time and let her hand go. He would never grasp it again._

 _Her lungs burned and burned and burned. Sebastians'eyes were glassy. They would never shine with life again. She wanted to let go, too. But she couldn't. She had always been good at swimming and holding her breath. But it still burned. And then it didn't anymore._

 _There were voices, though. They were saying things she couldn't understand. It was cold and dark._

" _She's not breathing."_

" _Her heart stops. Bring me defibrillator!"_

" _And the boy?"_

" _Dead."_

 _The voices faded. The cold and the darkness too. There was a green grassy plain in front of her, cut in half by a river which water was shining under a bright blue sky. A simple wooden bridge without any barriers crossed over it and helped to reach the other side. She put her foot on it, feeling warm and peaceful. She walked. It was longer than she had first thought. She could already see the beautiful scenery waiting for her. Her gran was there too, smiling warmly at her, although it was a bid sad. She grinned and waved at her._

 _Once at the half of the bridge, she stopped. Something was tugging on her whole body and she couldn't move forward anymore. Looking back, a red rope encircled her and tugged once more, as if to beg her to walk backward._

 _She fell on the river. Her whole body tingled. No, more than that. She felt… electrified. Whole. Too whole. Her mind wasn't only her own anymore._

" _It's been five minutes. She's dead."_

" _Time of death, 3:38 a.m."_

" _Poor children, they were probably at a party. Their parents should be waiting for them."_

" _Any clues of who they are?"_

" _Yeah, we found their papers on the boy. Sebastian Lockwood and Madeline Gilbert."_

" _Founding families huh?"_

" _Yes. Liz is calling them now."_

" _To think I've a girl just one year younger."_

" _They were drunk."_

 _She was disappearing. Becoming someone - or something?- else. The red rope tugged harshly and she was out of water, on the side of the plain her granny wasn't. It hurt. It was cold. It wasn't a green plain anymore. It was dark. And so, so painful. The red cord had disappeared. The bridge too. She was alone. Alone with the voices._

" _Her heart restarts!"_

" _What? That's impossible! It's been thirty minutes!"_

" _There is no chance she wakes up ever again."_

" _Hey, is it Madeline Gilbert?"_

" _Poor girl."_

" _Not so pretty anymore looking like that."_

" _Where is Sebastian?! Where is he?"_

" _No, Maddie! Maddie! Please, not Maddie!"_

" _Madeline, it's mum. Please, come back to me sweetheart. Please God, give her back to me."_

" _And the boy who was with her?"_

" _My god, her brain is not dead. How is it even possible?"_

" _I'm sorry sir. It's already been a week. The scans say her brain has not suffer any damage. It's already a miracle. However, her heart stopped for thirty minutes, at the very least. She drowned and… It would need a second miracle for her to awaken."_

" _Maddie, it's Elena. I-I miss you. I miss you so much."_

" _Hey big girl, it's Jeremy. The nurses say you may hear me so… I miss you like crazy. It's not the same without you… Please, wake up."_

" _Why did something like that happen to you sweetie?. Please wake up."_

" _Good morning darling. Time for a little wash."_

" _Damn I hate having to wash someone."_

" _Good afternoon Maddie. It's still me, Elena. We still miss you. I've read your diaries. No, I'm lying. Of course I'm lying. I just read the first entrance. Did you really thought Bonnie had a crush on me? I bet you wrote that just in case I read it. You caught me. Please, wake up sister."_

" _So, Elena seems to have decided that since you weren't there to have a fit at home, she would do it. Can you imagine she shouted at mum yesterday just because she couldn't go to a sleepover at Bonnie's? She's crazy. Like really crazy. And she just got rid of all her doll, except the one you bought her. Wanna bet she throw it away when you wake up? Anyway, I've got to go. Love you sis'"_

" _Matt kissed me. Oh my god he kissed me and I want to shout it at everyone. Caroline is not happy with me though. She's so jealous. Sigh…To think Bonnie punched that older guy who said Maddie killed Sebastian. I wanted to but I wasn't brave enough."_

" _A beautiful bouquet of flowers for a beautiful girl. Happy birthday sweetie. Seventeen… Time goes by so fast."_

" _Hello sis, it's Jeremy. Again. Wake up please."_

" _Maybe it would have been better if she had died that day. At least she wouldn't be stuck on that bed forever. My beautiful daughter… Is it so wrong of me to want to see your eyes opened?"_

" _Tyler Lockwood asked Elena about you yesterday. She probably realized she hadn't come to see you in like… a month? I think she will come tomorrow. I love you sis, so much, so please, wake up soon."_

" _I wonder what Miranda will cook this evening. Maybe I should take her out for once."_

" _I'm a cheerleader now, like you! I've seen a picture of you with the team in the hall. You were so pretty Maddie! Like really pretty! Caroline and Bonnie are in the team too, and Matt took me on a date. It was so romantic!... It's weird, isn't it? How life continues even without you. I can still laugh and smile and people forget I've a sister. They don't ask about you anymore, only Bonnie, Caroline and Tyler Lockwood. Sometimes… I want to hate you for not being there. It's only for a few seconds, 'cause I love you too much. But… doctors… they don't think you will wake up one day. It's been a year and… I don't want to come anymore. It's too hard, to see you like that. I love you, and when I think of you, I want to remember your smile. Not… this. Goodbye Maddie."_

" _Mum and Dad think it's better if I don't come anymore. Elena agrees with them! I hate them. They don't understand. I miss you Maddie and they all act like it's normal if you aren't at home. Please, I need you. I really need you sis."_

Madeline Gilbert woke up in a cold sweat, damp dark hair stuck on her forehead, remembering the hopelessness of being stuck in the dark, in her body, and not being able to do anything. And the voices. Always, the voices. It wasn't enough to hear them every days, to never have a quiet moment and to always have a headache, she had to dream of them too. It wasn't always the case though. For several months now, new nightmares had included the faces of her now deceased parents. It was funny, in a very sad and very bitter way, how the same place which put her in a coma and took the life of her boyfriend three years ago, also took the life of her parents. At least Elena survived the accident. God knew what she would have done if she had lost not only her hum and her dad, but also her little sister.

With a sigh, she sat on her bed. The purple quilt shifted with her, slipping off her chest to her thighs. A shiver ran through her body, the large tee-shirt she wore not enough to protect her against the morning chill. Still, she had to get out of her bed, no matter how much tired and cold she was. But then again, she was _always_ tired and cold.

 _*Dear diary, today will be different. It has to be. I will smile, and it will be believable. My smile will say 'I'm fine, thank you.' 'Yes, I feel much better.' I will no longer be the sad little girl who…*_

Madeline frowned as she heard the thoughts of Elena, the soft sad voice of her sister echoing in her mind at the same time as Jeremy's voice wondered about taking drugs at school to feel better. Downstairs, Jenna was freaking out as she realized how awkward it was for her to take care of three teenagers, one of those being… well, Madeline, while she still had a thesis to write for college. Inwardly, Maddie could only agree with her, but it didn't change anything. Their life was messed-up, that was it. Nothing more to say. And plenty of things to hear, sadly. Hearing the thoughts of people was one of the worst things that had happened to Maddie since her accident three years ago. Especially as it came with a friend: headache.

She stood in front of her wardrobe, only casting a brief glance to her old, more colorful and attractive clothes, and took a large dark green sweater with a hood big enough to completely hide her face. Once, she had been popular, and the star of all parties. Now, at nineteen years old, she was stuck in the same year as her sister after her coma and the re-education had made her miss two years of school. People had whispered about her, when she first came back looking tired and distressed. Some were worried about her, most thought she had kind of fallen. Now, they ignored her, although she could still hear people calling her 'Mad Maddie' or thinking she had killed her boyfriend. She hated it.

She went to her bathroom and took a long, hot shower. The water ran along her body, caressing it as the hand of an imaginary lover. For a second, she imagined Sebastian, his green eyes and his large hands, the last pieces of her dream haunting her, before she winced and left the shower stall. She put on her clothes and headed downstairs. There, she looked at her siblings and Jenna, trying very hard to ignore their thoughts. Her aunt was still freaking out, and Elena was the same about Jeremy. It was only a matter of minutes before she asked him how he felt, and Maddie wondered if he would lash out or not. The last years had been difficult for her baby brother. Of course, other people suffered too, and it wasn't an excuse for taking drugs but… Well, with the amount of pills for headache she secretly took, she didn't feel like she had the right to argue with him. It would be highly hypocritical. Maybe Elena was the best for speaking with him about that.

"You okay?" the brunette asked him once Jenna had left.

Jeremy barely cast a glance at her. "Don't start," he replied curtly before turning his head towards Madeline. "Hey sis, you want a toast?" _*She doesn't look very good, must have been a difficult night.*_

A flicker of a smile chased across her lips as she heard Jeremy's worried voice. Her baby brother was kind of cute when he looked after her as if he was the older sibling. Elena smiled at her awkwardly but didn't say anything, and Maddie's smile disappeared. She couldn't hate Elena for being like that. The girl was still grieving, and having a weird sister so different than what she had been years ago hadn't been easy for Elena. Hopefully, one day, they would be able to be the sisters they had been before… everything.

"It's okay Jeremy, I'm not hungry," she murmured softly, ignoring the way her voice echoed in Jeremy's mind. "Mind if I come along with you for school?"

"As if you need to ask. You should know better."

"Right."

She took her bags, pushed the hood of her sweater on her head and grabbed her headphones. She waited until Jeremy and Elena had left the kitchen to swallow two pills. Today… was going to be a difficult day. Like always.

* * *

The sky was still a dark blue when she left school in the late afternoon, her head full of questions – some were hers, some were others' – and thoughts. As expected, the day had been exhausting. Between Tanner and his witty remarks – although, if she had to be honest, it was her favorite class – and the people staring and _thinking_ , she had had _the_ fucking headache from Hell. If it wasn't enough, she had to put up with Elena and the new guy – mister I'm seventeen but my thoughts say I'm old as dust – making out with their eyes. Seriously, what was up with the guy and his obsession towards her sister? And who was Katherine who looked just like Elena? And, if she had heard right – and damn she _had_ – the guy had observed her sister all summer? Urgh, Stefan Salvatore was such a weirdo – and for her to say that, it had to be a new level of weirdness. Seriously, the guy thought about _sniffing_ her sister! More accurately, about sniffing the _blood_ of her sister! That so wasn't kinky. More like psychotic. A bit like her parents when they had those weird thoughts about vampires. After all, vampires weren't real… right?

A gust of wind made her shiver. A drop of water from her wet hair ran along her neck and got inside her sweater. She had used the school's swimming pool after class in order to have a quiet moment for herself. Despite having drowned, swimming was the only way for stopping the voices in her mind. When she was in the water, she couldn't hear other people, only her own voice, her own thoughts. It was peaceful, even if at first she had been completely scared.

She put her headphones over her ears and pulled her hood up before leaving the school yard. She walked slowly, looking at the ground. Jenna was probably already home, Jeremy at the Mystic Grill pining after Vicki Donovan, and Elena had plans for the evening with Caroline and Bonnie. It was days like this when she missed her former friends – all at college now, far away from the quaint little town Mystic Fall was. Though she guessed Tyler Lockwood could be considered as her friend, and with him came Matt Donovan. Well, for the latter, she wasn't sure anymore as Elena had dumped him. It would be quite awkward to say the least. Besides, they weren't close friends. First, they were two years younger and two, the two boys were just the only guys at school who defended her when people were calling her Mad Maddie, besides Jeremy of course. Besides, she was pretty sure Tyler only felt responsible for her only in memory of Sebastian.

An old woman overtook her on the sidewalk, her large shopping bag with yellow floral print bumping into her. The woman didn't look back and continued her way, her thoughts screaming about misbehaving teenagers walking slower than her old cat Grumpy. Madeline chuckled silently but didn't walk faster. It was late without being too late, and the street was nearly empty. She could still hear the people in the same street and the ones living in the houses she passed, but it was more peaceful than it would have been if she had come home earlier. Her head was slightly pounding, but hopefully the pill she had taken before leaving school would soon take effect.

 _*Oh my… is it Madeline Gilbert? Probably hiding her face…*_

The thought had her lowering her face a bit and moving her hair in front of her right cheek self-consciously but she was kind of proud for not feeling more hurt than she was already. The scar running on her cheek from the corner of her right eyes to her chin wasn't big unlike the one on her leg, but it was still visible enough for people to look at it. Even with her hood. Clearly, Mystic Fall's folk were a big bunch of judgy bastards.

She arrived at her home when Elena and weirdo Stefan left. She raised an eyebrow when she saw her sister walking away with the guy who was still thinking how good her sister was smelling. And let's not forget the how beautiful she was. And how nice she seemed to be. And how he should stay away from her because he was a vampire and was too dangerous. He had killed people.

Madeline stopped, her eyes wide opened. The guy had killed people and was going with her sister to the Grill as if nothing was wrong in the world. Oh god, what was she supposed to do? Call the police? And then what? 'Yes, I think there's a psychotic murderer in town. He thinks he's a vampire and loves smelling my sister. How do I know that? Well, I can read mind.' Right, that would go so well. She would finish in an hospital as a mental health patient, in a cushioned room or worse, on a table for experimentation on her brain. The headache would sure be worse than Hell. Like seven Hell gathered. Was there several levels in Hell?

"Madeline?"

The kind voice of her aunt Jenna got her out of her thoughts and she raised her head, meeting her hazel eyes. "You're alright?"

Madeline nodded and murmured, "yeah, don't worry aunt Jenna." She looked in the direction her sister and psycho pseudo-vampire had taken. They were far enough that she didn't have to hear their thoughts. "I'm just… puzzled." And worried for Elena went unsaid. What if vampires were real? What could she do to protect her sister? Nothing. Except to forbid her for meeting with that Salvatore guy but she seriously doubted a conversation like that would go well. "Have you met him?"

"Who?"

"Stefan Salvatore, the guy Elena left with."

Jenna furrowed her brow, thinking how cute Maddie was for acting like a protective sister. "Can't say I have but he seems to be like a nice guy. I mean, he did bring Elena's diary back."

Madeline pursed her lips. If she hadn't hear the guy thinking, she would have think the same as Jenna. Now, on the contrary… It was scaring. But Elena… Her beautiful sister… God, it would be so awkward. Damn Elena and the weirdo! "I'm going to the Grill."

Jenna gaped. "Oh my god, do I need to call the hospital? Do you feel sick? You don't have a fever, right?" She put her hand on her forehead to check her temperature and Madeline had to clench her jaw as pictures of herself from Jenna's perspective invaded her mind. Damn, she hated when people touched her. "It seems normal…"

"I'm fine Aunt Jenna, really," she said, a slightly strained smile on her face. "Thanks for caring."

"It's my job, right?"

"Still, thank you."

Jenna grinned and removed her hand. The images disappeared, letting Madeline a bit disoriented. But better. So much fucking better. "So, I'm going then."

"No change of clothes?"

"Nah I'm good," she said, not caring the slightest about her still damp hair and her oversized sweater. She was a woman on a mission: looking after her sister. Not someone wanting to hook up.

"Ok, ok. Be careful, don't stay out all night, and don't get drunk. Damn, I'm beginning to get it right."

Madeline snickered and shook her head with a small grin. "See you later," she said before turning and heading to the Grill. She still had her school bag but well, she could act as if she came to read, or something like that. Act completely innocuously and listen drunk thoughts, weird wish and, oh, people day-dreaming about having sex.

It was going to be awful.

And it was. Awful, and noisy. Like really, really, noisy. Elena acted as if she hadn't seen her – ouch – Bonnie widened her eyes when she did see her, Caroline came to hug her – urg, but the girl had always been kind of cute anyway. Jeremy came to drink with her after Vicki had made it clear she didn't want to speak with him – her loss – and she spoke a few words with Tyler – and an awkward greeting with Matt who redefined the concept of puppy eyes. Besides that, she didn't learn anything except for the name of the brother of the weirdo – apparently vampire could have brother even if she had no idea how the hell a vampire could reproduce – and that there was a party the next day. That Salvatore guy sure was into that whole broody vampire thing. And into sniffing her sister. A little more and she would really believe into vampires.

"Didn't she say to Matt she needed time?" Jeremy suddenly asked.

Madeline stopped glaring at her drink and tried to focus on her brother despite all the thoughts she could hear and the pain behind her eyes. It had been a mistake to come. Some people was staring at her, at her face. Some was calling her Mad Maddie in their mind. And comparing her to Elena. It hurt. "What?" she asked, even if she could already hear his question in her mind.

"Elena," Jeremy pointed her discreetly with his finger, "she did say to Matt she needed time, no?"

Weirdo was listening to them, even if he already was speaking with the girls. She could hear Jeremy's words echoing in his mind despite all the noise. He wasn't the only one listening to them as Matt and Tyler weren't far from their table. "Well," Madeline said, "it's not like she's making out with the guy." Only in their thoughts. Urgh.

"Please, I'm not twelve anymore," Jeremy deadpanned. "She's probably thinking about having sex on the floor with him."

Okay, he wasn't that far from the truth, but it was still disturbing. "That's… disgusting." Especially with a guy like Salvatore. "I truly hope she realizes she's not ready for any relationship with him."

"You don't like him?" Aw, her cute brother knew her so well. Even if she wasn't the same as three years ago, he accepted her completely and wasn't ashamed of her. He didn't know her secret but still knew her well enough for not thinking – like the girl from behind – that she was jealous.

"He's a bit weird, don't you think?" From the corner of her eyes, she saw Weirdo frowning at them. How the hell could he hear them so correctly anyway?

He shrugged, "A bit too pretty maybe?"

"Well, there is that, but that's not what I meant."

"Then what?"

"I don't know, he just seems like a guy with really weird wet dreams. I don't want Elena being his object of fantasy."

One thing was sure, he was good at masking his emotions because he didn't seem to have any reaction outwardly. His thoughts, on the other hand… They were… interesting. She would have been worried if vampires were real.

Jeremy grimaced, his face turning green, "and _that_ 's not disgusting?"

She tilted her head, "Maybe a bit?"

"More than that, believe me. I don't want to know about the wet dream of another guy or… I really don't want to have that kind of conversation with _you._ "

"But with Vicki it's okay?" she snickered.

"Wh-How? W-What are you…" he sighed. "How do you know?"

"I'm your big sister, I'm supposed to know that kind of things."

"It doesn't work like that. You told Elena?" He had barely said the words that he already realized his question was a bit stupid. "Sorry, of course you hadn't."

Maybe the time was right for a little discussion concerning his recent behavior.

"Look Jer, you know I love you and all?" she began while nibbling her lower lip.

He frowned. "Yes?" he replied, suspicious.

"That's not the place for this, common sense says to be at home for that, and Elena is really better for lecturing someone, but I lost common sense a while ago and Elena is making eyes with the possible serial killer with a weird kink so… Be careful?"

"… About?" he tried to look innocent.

At that she crossed her arms in front of her chest. "Look, you can try that with Jenna but that doesn't work with me. And before you tried, neither does lashing out."

His face fell and they stayed silent for a while, his mind working fast about what he should say. Lying, acting as if everything was right, confessing, speaking of Vicki, joking, etc. Finally, he decided to be honest, "I just miss them."

"… Me too Jeremy," she whispered, her voice barely a murmur. Yet he heard her.

"You… don't look like you do…"

It hit her hard and she tried to process the shock. Did he really think she didn't care about her parents' deaths? She just couldn't cry. She had no tears to spare anymore. No energy to cry too. She was just… tired and cold. Always and forever. The after-life hadn't wanted her and she was now cursed in that life until she died. And then what? Would she be rejected again? She closed her eyes and breathed deeply. It hurt. So, so much. "You really think so?"

"I…" he stammered guiltily. "It's just… I know you weren't close anymore with them… Because they wanted you to be the same as… before… And -"

"Does Elena think that too?" she cut him off.

"I don't know."

She breathed out. "Jeremy, just because we had some disagreement, it doesn't mean I hated them. I loved them. I still do, and believe me, every day hurts. But… if there is one thing I'm sure, it's that they found peace, wherever they went. Living…it's harder than dying."

Jeremy's eyes were tearful. He caught her hand and she stared at it, lost in a memory of another guy she loved catching her hand with eyes full of tears. At least, this time, she had spoken. She had said what she thought. Did… reading mind was her punishment for not having told him she loved him?

She removed her hand and stood up. "I'm a bit tired. Look after Elena for me?"

He stared at her with pity, probably guessing she had been lost into painful memories. "Always."

* * *

That's it for chapter 1 :) I love reviews just like any writers here so don't hesitate to write one if you want (they do make me smile like crazy) but if not, it's okay of course ;) If you have a particular pairing you want to see, or one you absolutely don't want to see, well let me know too. I'm kind of unsure about the others character relationship. Beside Elijah with Maddie, and Klaroline (I'm not completely sure about this one… I love it though, so let's just say there is a 85 percent chance it's happening).

Oh, and I'm on wattpad, and will probably put it there if you prefer to read it there (there are a bit of everything on wattpad, from worse to very good, but the media are an obvious plus)

See you next time ! (soon, as I'm just editing the next chapter)


	2. Broody not sparkling vampire

**Chapter 2: Broody not sparkling vampire and the Dream Walking of Hell**

* * *

It was quiet, or at least as quiet as it could be. Only Jenna was at home, eating ice cream in the living room in front of Lion King. Her thoughts weren't on the movie but on her late sister. On what was left of their family.

Elena and Jeremy were at a party. All Elena had on her mind all day had been to see the weirdo guy again. If it had been someone else, Madeline would have been happy for her sister, as it would have been a nice change, a break in her grief. But no, it was that Salvatore guy and she made Jeremy promise to look after her.

Madeline hadn't gone to the party, of course. Just going to the Grill the evening before had taken a considerable effort, she wasn't ready for a party. And somehow, she seriously doubted she would ever be.

She was staring at her reflection in the mirror. She looked… more dead than alive. Her face was pale and hers cheek hollow, nearly gaunt. Dark circles below her eyes contrasted with the white of her skin. Her dark brown hair, before rich and lively, was now lifeless. And her eyes… her eyes were the worst as they reflected her anguish and, more than anything, the very thin veil between her sanity and her madness. How could one stay sane when they were always hearing people's thoughts? Things that should stay private, things that nobody else should know… _She_ did. She knew secrets she didn't want. She knew who had cheated with who. She knew when somebody was hurting so bad they wanted to kill themselves. She knew. But she wasn't meant to.

She put her hand on the mirror and drew with her fingertips her facial features, not caring about the marks she left. There were so many secrets hidden behind her eyes, and nobody knew. Nobody knew about the delicate thread keeping her from breaking. Mad Maddie they said… But if only they knew.

Madeline sighed and walked away from the mirror. She took her sweater off and left it on the floor. She hesitated a second before doing the same with the rest of her clothes, leaving her completely bare. She lay down on her bed, closed her eyes and let her hand skim her body until reaching between her tight. She stroked, first slowly and then faster. Faster and faster, and harder. There were no imaginary face behind her closed eyelids, no loved face lost forever, just her hand and herself, in an attempt to feel something, to forget everything else for just a moment. She felt hot and pressed harder. Her breathing accelerated. She gaped. Her whole body tingled. She was close, so close. But then she stopped. She couldn't reach that moment when everything else disappear. She just couldn't let it go.

"So… pathetic," she muttered somberly, looking at the ceiling.

Jeremy had painted a beautiful sunrise on it a year ago, saying it was to remind her of how beautiful the world could be. She didn't know about the world, but the painting surely was. The kid had golden hands. And according to Vicki's wishful thinking, golden fingers too. Not that she had wished to know _that_. But then again, Vicki wasn't really difficult to please. Still, she had never, like never never never, wanted to know this about her baby brother.

"I wonder if there is still ice cream…," she pondered aloud as Jenna was thinking about adding chocolate to her vanilla ice cream. And chips of white chocolate. Good, she was now hungry.

She twisted and turned in bed for a few hours, glaring every once in a while at her clock radio. It was late. Like really late. Or very early in the very morning. Could it be called morning if the sun wasn't already up? Jenna was still in the living room, watching now George of the Jungle while wondering about the pleasure of having sex on a tree.

Madeline groaned, wishing desperately to wash her brain. She so didn't want to think about her aunt like that. Just like she didn't want to think about weirdo guy realizing his so weird bloody fantasy with her sweet little sister. Elena was so…innocent. She couldn't hurt a fly. Was it that innocence that appealed that guy? Because if so, she would show him, innocence. With a clean sweep… In his face – followed by her running away in case he truly was a psychopath and not just a weird guy with weird thoughts.

She was about to hit her face on the wall to just try to forget about her aunt and her having sex in the jungle when she heard Jeremy's worried - and slightly afraid even if he would never acknowledge it aloud - voice and Elena's scared one. _*Vicki has to be alright… She has to be… God, what kind of animal could do that to her?*_ Jeremy thought, prompting Madeline to get out of her bed, dress up and go downstairs. She pretended to be surprised to see them, her eyebrows raised and her lips parted.

"Jeremy, Elena," she said, "are you alright? You looked like you've been attacked by a serial killer." Saying that, her eyes flickered over every features of Elena's and Jeremy's faces. Sure, she knew Vicki had been the one attacked, but that didn't mean whatever had attacked her hadn't also hurt her siblings.

Jeremy shook his head. "Something has bitten Vicky in her neck. She's at the hospital… I -" _*I don't know if she's gonna make it… What if she doesn't? Please, let her be alright…*_

He shook his head again, his face contorted as if in pain, and went in the living room, dismissing them. Jenna turned off the telly. She tried to talk to him but he was lost in his thoughts, inwardly fearing to lose someone else.

Madeline glanced at her sister who was still in the hall. The silence between them was beginning to be awkward so Madeline made the first move. Her stomach knotted up, she stepped forward and put a hand on Elena's shoulder. She saw herself from Elena's perspective and shivered slightly.

"You alright El'?"

As soon as the words left her lips, the picture of herself disappeared to be replaced by the horrible view of Vicki's bloody neck. God it was awful and left her completely scared at the thought that a freely roaming - and unknown - animal could do something like that.

"I…" the brown eyes of her sister looked at her, distraught, "I don't know."

Trying very hard to keep her cool, she engulfed Elena in her arms and clasped her, "It's gonna be alright… Just make sure you stay far, very far away from the wood. Or any trees really. Just stay at home with your diary?"

Her attempt at casualness failed and Elena's trembling hand griped her top. She buried her head into her chest.

"You didn't see Vicki… There was so much blood."

Madeline stroked her back gently, inwardly a bit happy her sister still relied on her when something was wrong and, at the same time, thinking about how wrong Elena was. She could perfectly imagine how Vicki looked like.

"I won't let anything hurt you El' You're my baby sis'."

Elena's grip tightened. "I haven't been the best sister in a long time…" she mumbled even if her thoughts were more on the fact that Madeline's chest felt very comfortable.

"Well, it's nothing boobs and hugs can't repair," Madeline quipped, to which Elena laughed weakly, her lips slightly pulled up in a sheepish little smile, "Alright Elena, time to go to bed. It's been enough emotions for the day."

She released Elena and took a step back. Her sister was still a bit pale but wasn't shaking like a leaf anymore.

"Thanks Maddie."

"You're welcome El'."

Elena walked up the stairs without looking back. Her mind was reliving the last minutes, ashamed for having a little moment of weakness when she had to be the strong one of the family. Madeline sighed, wondering when her sister had decided to carry the weight of the world on her shoulders. She wasn't even an adult. She should rely on Jenna or her. More Jenna than her, actually. After all, wasn't it the reason Jenna came to them? To take care of them?

Instead of following Elena to go to her own bedroom, she went to the kitchen and silently cursed Jenna and her love for ice-cream. Opening the freezer, she rummaged through the frozen food and found two popsicles. Taking them, she went back to the entrance of the living room. Jenna was looking sadly at Jeremy, the eyes of the latter staring at a picture of their parents.

"I got it," she whispered to her aunt and went to sit beside her brother.

She let herself fall on the couch and hold one of the popsicle out to him. He barely glanced at her as he took it, his gaze still on the picture.

"Thanks," he mumbled.

"Anytime."

She didn't say anything, just sat by his side. Eventually, he fell asleep on her shoulder, leaving Madeline with the very - like very very very - discomfort of seeing his dream on top of hearing them. On one hand, he wasn't having the kind of dream which would have made her want to gouge out her own eyes. On the other hand, it wasn't a good one, as it was about Vicki and her bloody neck. Oh, and about Tyler almost forcing her to have sex against a tree. The guy might be nice toward her, but let's face it, he was a major douchebag.

One thing was sure though, it wasn't today that she would sleep. She had barely managed to doze when Elena went down the stairs, opened the door and, oh, _invited_ the weirdo Salvator in. She would have to have a nice chat with her sister about letting guys into their home during the night, without informing Jenna - who was sleeping and dreaming about her thesis turning into a giant monkey with a red bow on his head.

For once, he wasn't thinking about how good her sister was smelling, or how she was beautiful, or looked like Katherine but was so nicer than her… He was concerned about her. It would have been almost nice, if he hadn't that broody Edward-Twilight look and if he hadn't thought – and she had to clench her teeth so bad to not start – that his brother Damon, who according to his lovely depressed mind had been the one biting Vicki, seemed interested in Elena.

Did Elena do something to have a karma so bad it attracted all the weirdo? Seriously, another guy believing he was a vampire and _biting_ people? And how the hell did he even bite Vicki? From what she had seen in Jeremy's and Elena's mind, Vicki had two holes in her neck, not bloody teeth marks. Something was seriously wrong in the Salvatore family – even if she would reserve her judgement about the brother until she had met him. Hopefully, it would be in a very long time. And even more hopefully, Stefan-Assward-Cullen-Salvatore would have left town before she met his brother.

Still, she couldn't refrain herself from speaking , "You're not supposed to walk in the sun if you want to perfect your whole broody vampire look."

The guy started and looked at her, shocked, "W-What?"

She rolled her eyes, ignoring purposely Elena's glare and his panicked thoughts. "You know, the Cullen broody look? Sparkling in the sun? Twilight? Cheesy dialogue? I'm more into accent and sexy smirk, so can't say I see the appeal into taciturn vampires, but if you want to act like one, do it at least properly."

He continued to stare at her a bit longer until Elena had had enough of it and coughed - all the while still glaring at her. "…Right," he said.

They left her and, if she had been a completely normal human, Madeline would have missed it. As she wasn't, the voice of Elena resonated in her mind as her sister said, "Sorry, she wasn't always like…that."

Now, she couldn't really go to Elena's bedroom and watched them. She doubted Elena would ever forgive her if she did. She could only listen to their thoughts - Elena, dear, just because he's a bit easy in the eyes doesn't mean he doesn't want to kill you - and prepared herself to run upstairs if he thought about her sister in the wrong way.

* * *

The next morning saw Elena being happy like she hadn't been in a long time. There was a lightness in her step as she went down the stairs, waking Madeline up at the same time. She rubbed her eyes, looking around her. She had fallen asleep on the couch and damn she was sore. Jeremy wasn't anywhere beside her or even in the house. Jenna was stressed regarding her meeting with Tanner about Jeremy and Elena… just wanted to already be at school and put her tongue on the weirdo's mouth. And probably play tonsil hockey with him. Good, now she wanted to throw up. What a lovely way to begin an lovely day.

Or not. More like an awful day.

She was halfway to school when the first thoughts about Vicki began. What kind of animal was it? Did she really get bitten in the neck? Did she lose a lot of blood?

 _*She deserved it, the girl's such a whore.*_ Ah, slut-shaming coming from a girl. Feminism just died.

 _*To think I fucked the slut last year*_ Wonderful, slut-shaming from a Don Juan. Such hypocrisy.

 _*It's Jeremy Gilbert who found Vicki.*_ Yeah, and? He also found forks and plates in the kitchen.

 _*Poor Matt. First dumped by Elena Gilbert, now this. I just want to kiss him and make him forget his horrible life.*_ Yes, because being dumped was as serious as having his sister attacked. And sure, kissing him would just make everything better. Right. The girl should redefine the words seriousness and importance.

 _*The Gilberts are always around drama.*_ Well, that wasn't wrong. Still hurt though.

 _*Was she bitten by a vampire?*_

She admitted, the last thought had her stopped in the middle of the road she was crossing for ten seconds - which was enough for three cars to honk.

Did some people really believe in vampire? What was next? Tinker Bell? Werewolf? Santa Claus? She could accept the idea that there were other people like her somewhere in the world. Some with weird capacities. But vampires? Really? With all the crucifix available - even as fashionable necklace -, imaginary vampires would have a hard time. Same with the garlic found in every supermarket, grocery store, restaurant, etc.

By the time Madeline arrived at school, her headache was monstrous and she wanted to kill the next person thinking about Vicki. Not that she wasn't shocked about what happened to the girl, or even worried, because it was evident Jeremy cared for her and no one deserved to be attacked by whatever animal - or Damon Salvatore if the weirdo was right. But it was all the people could think of, and not always in a nice way.

Nevertheless, the thing with people, it was that they were incredibly self-centered and fickle. They could think about someone else, but at the least hint of something related to themselves, they wouldn't care about that someone else anymore. They would think about themselves, or about something they would do, etc. And even if they did think about someone else, it was generally about how that person was with them, how they feel about them. Madeline wasn't that much different of course, so no judgment. Still, she wasn't surprised when, after the history class on the comet, people thought less about Vicki and more about where they would go to see the comet, with who, how they would dressed… It didn't help with the pain in her head though. Quite the contrary, actually.

She stopped at a bench on the school yard, put her headphones over her head and swallowed two pills. She opened a book and stared blankly at the dark line written, unable to concentrate enough to read. Her hand played with the necklace she wore, an acorn made of brass. She couldn't remember for how long she had it, but she had never taken it off. The only time she hadn't worn it was after her accident as the nurses had taken it off, and damn she had freaked out like crazy after waking up and finding it missing. Luckily, her mother had kept it with her stuff and returned it with tears in her eyes and a beautiful smile on her face. Somehow, the weight of the pendant in her hand comforted her.

"Did she say what kind of animal it was that attacked her?" Elena asked Matt somewhere on Madeline's left.

"She said it was a vampire," Matt answered, remembering the terror in Vicki's eyes as she murmured the fated word.

Madeline couldn't help but roll her eyes. If even Vicki thought it was a vampire, the whole town would soon go out in the night with fire and pitchfork. Or was it for witches? Salvatore's voice screamed silently before completely disappearing. Probably afraid someone realized it wasn't a vampire but his brother having psychopath tendency -or the hypothesis he truly was the culprit as, as far as she knew, people were innocent until proved otherwise. Still, maybe psychopath tendency ran in the family. Although, she had to admit the guy was fast. She didn't even have the time to see where he was.

Elena was thinking along the same lines about vampires, with less fire and pitchfork, and more drugged Vicki. Which made sense actually.

"What?" Elena said.

"Yeah, she wakes up last night and mutters "vampire" and then passes out."

"OK, that is weird." _*Guess drugs and loss of blood didn't help her to stay awake.*_

Matt nodded and looked beyond her shoulder, staring at nothing in particular, "I think she was drunk."

Madeline tried to not listen to the rest of their conversation, only standing up when she saw Matt leaving Elena behind. She caught up with him.

"Hey Matt," she greeted him.

He glanced at her, uncomfortable, "Madeline."

She refrained herself from rolling her eyes. Sure, she got it, she was the weird older sister of the girl who dumped him, but surely he could be a less… awkward.

"Are you going to see Vicki now?" she asked despite already knowing the answer.

He nodded and relaxed, "yeah, she wasn't really herself when she woke up last night."

"Really? What, she wanted to go to school, study, or something like that?"

Matt chuckled, though the worry was clearly present in his eyes. His love for his sister was obvious and beyond any word. Even with him being the younger one, he wanted to protect her and was disappointed in himself for having failed.

"No, she told me a vampire had attacked her."

Madeline took a considerable effort at widening her eyes, "A vampire?"

"Yeah," he rubbed the back of his neck, "she was bitten in the neck."

"You mind if I come with you?"

"Huh? Since when are you friend with Vicki?"

"I'm not, I barely know her." Well, she knew her thoughts and her guilt for having sex with Jeremy - and having loved every second of it - but that doesn't really meant she fully _knew_ her. "That doesn't mean I'm not worried about her. Being stuck in the hospital, it's awful."

"And you know what you're speaking of."

"Yes… I guess I do," she muttered, moving her hair a bit shyly in front of her face.

"Look, it's not that I don't want to but," he began, and he completely didn't want her to come. She bit her lips and tried to imitate his famous puppy eyes. He faltered, "I don't want to bother you…"

"But you don't. I'm the one asking you to come."

He breathed out. Matt was just too kind to tell her to back off and she was - a bit guiltily if she had to be completely honest - taking advantage of it.

"Is it that important to you?"

"Yes!" she nodded, "Besides, I don't see many people wanting to see her. She could use a new friend. And me too." Or not. She knew for a fact that Vicki Donovan was one of the numerous people calling her Mad Maddie. Or, at least, she had called her that after her comeback so no, she wasn't really keen on being friends with Matt's sister. Beside, from experience, it was really awkward to know when a friend had her period or, when it was a guy - like Tyler - a hard-on after spying on the girls at the school swimming pool. Nonetheless, she needed to know what had attacked her. If it was a human… then there was a chance it was really the brother of Stefan Salvatore.

"Alright," Matt resigned himself.

They walked towards the hospital in silence, Matt glancing at her when he thought she didn't see him. Well, he wasn't wrong in that she didn't see him. Once at the hospital, Madeline followed him to Vicki's room. As it was already late in the afternoon, she expected the girl to be awake despite her wound. She was wrong, and Vicki was sleeping deeply. Matt's thoughts was worried, of course they were, but his face softened as he gazed at Vicki fondly. It was beautiful to watch, and at the same time, incredibly sad because it shouldn't be Matt looking at Vicki with such a look in his eyes, but their mother. Yet, the woman wasn't there.

Vicki's dream was weird. The girl was repeating again and again 'It's all I remember.' Looking around her, taking in the room, she casually strode to Vicki's bed. She prepared herself and touched her cheek, acting as if she was brushing her hair away from her face. Her eyes widened when all she saw was darkness and two green eyes. She felt as if she was lost in the dark. And the same sentence was repeated, again and again, like a mantra. 'It's all I remember. It's all I remember. It's all I remember.'

She was going to remove her hand when something shifted. Fear. Vicki's was afraid of something. Something was there, lurking in the darkness. Its presence was strong, heavy, and despite knowing it was all in her head - or was it really ? - whatever was there made her hair stood on the back of her neck. She had goose bumps. There were no sounds, only the saying 'it's all I remember' and Madeline felt hopeless when Vicki stopped repeating it. Silence. A sound then. A scream. And the face of a monster.

Madeline removed her hand quickly and stepped back, almost falling on the ground. Matt looked at her with raised eyebrows, "You're okay?"

Her heart was beating wildly and she was scared. Completely scared.

"I-I," she stammered, "I need to go."

And so she did. She ran to her home, headed directly to her bedroom and closed the door. Then, and only then, she let herself fall on the ground, back against the door and trembled. She put her head on her knees, her arms clasping them firmly against her chest. And laughed. Hysterically.

"I-I'm sca-scared of a d-dream!"

She breathed deeply, trying to regain some sense of control.

"Damn it, I'm not some kind of scaredy-cat! Madeline Gilbert, you so need to get a grip!"

Even saying so, her hand was still shaking.

"Just a nightmare. A fucking nightmare of Hell."

And it wasn't a vampire Vicki had been dreaming. More like a demon after having seen too much horror movie this afternoon on her phone or something like that. Right. Vampires didn't exist. It was just Vicki's imaginary version of Lucifer. Or of the offspring of Red Gyarados and Beelzebub. Yeah, it was just that. Nothing to be scared about.

Then why did she want to crawl under her blankets?

* * *

Next chapter: An aunt, a niece and the elephant in the room. Or "how to be in Denial" for dummies


	3. How to be in Denial for dummies

**Chapter 3: An aunt, a niece and the elephant in the room. Or "how to be in Denial" for dummies**

* * *

At the end, Madeline spent the day and the night of the comet at home, hidden in her bedroom with a large black sweater, a large pint of vanilla ice-cream and the sexy voice of Johnny Depp in the first three _Pirates of the Caribbean_. Nothing was better to make her forget about possible monster haunting quaint little Mystic Fall. Did someone say vampire? Blah blah. Vampires were overrated. Pirates were much better, less dead - except if you were called Barbossa, Davy Jones, Bootstrap Bill and, her two favorite characters of the series, Pintel and Ragetti - and much sexier - cough Jack Sparrow cough. Will Turner wasn't bad himself but there was that broody thing sometimes about him that made him… Well, too broody. Legolas was a much better character for Orlando Bloom to play anyway.

When sleep didn't come at the end of the day, she took a sleeping pill, not willing to wait until Elena and Jeremy came back from wherever they were for the night of the comet, probably thinking of Salvatore and Vicki. Jenna was working on her thesis in her bedroom, her mind filled with so many information Madeline only wanted to cut her head so it wouldn't hurt anymore. That, and she could, at last, really focus on something. Although, now that she thought about that, it would be difficult to think without her head. What a pity.

She yawned. Her eyelids felt heavy so she curled on her side under her quilt. Her necklace, slightly cold because of the metal, was hidden between her breasts. Her bedroom's curtains were slightly opened, and from her half-opened eyes she could see the moon reflecting in the mirror. It was… peaceful. Quiet. She fell asleep with Jenna's musings and the mental image of a monster with sharp canines, blood on his lips and chin, and eyes of a hateful demon.

" _Vampires don't exist."_

" _You are going to be okay."_

" _It's…going to be o-okay love,"_

" _I love you."_

"" _She's not breathing."_

" _And the boy?"_

" _Time of death, 3:38 a.m."_

" _Not so pretty anymore looking like that."_

" _Hello sis, it's Jeremy. Again. Wake up please."_

" _Please, I need you. I really need you sis."_

" _M-mom? Where? S-Seb?"_

 _Fear. Hopelessness. Despair. Everything hurt. Someone is there._

" _Sebastian? Is it you?"_

" _Mom? Dad?"_

 _A hand on her shoulder. Her neck torn apart. Blood. So much blood. The red thread yanked her out harshly._

Madeline woke up in a cold sweat, her hair stuck on her forehead and her heart pounding. Her whole body was shaking and she couldn't calm down. She hid her face in her trembling hands. And bit her lips to keep herself from screaming. The voices were already there. Jenna was telling Elena she wouldn't be there in the evening as she had to go at College and would exceptionally spend the night there. She didn't say it, but she was going to drink with some friends as she really needed some time out of her late sister's home. Elena thought of her kiss with Salvatore before she realized she had not thought of their parents this morning. Jeremy was trying hard to not look at their parents' picture.

Overwhelmed, Madeline caught the first thing she could reach - her bedside lamp - and threw it on her wall. The light bulb shattered, pieces of glass falling on the ground.

 _*What was that?!*_

 _*Maddie!*_

Voices, hateful eyes, blood, scream. Her throat hurt and Madeline realized _she_ was screaming. Jenna flung open the door of her bedroom, the wood hitting the wall behind in a loud sound. Jeremy and Elena were behind her aunt, looking worried.

"Madeline?"

The concerned voice of her aunt broke her out of the nightmare. She removed her hands from her face and looked wildly around her, trying to ignore the voices in her mind as she stared at her family.

She hated sleeping. She hated the voices. She hated seeing the pity in her family's eyes. She hated the cold in her bones and her soul. She hated herself. Tears filled her eyes for the first time in a very long time and she tried to wipe her face as her cheeks became wet. It didn't work, though, as more tears continued to flow. It was as if every tears she hadn't let fall over the years were pouring out of her.

"Oh sweetie," her aunt whispered before turning towards Elena and Jeremy, "You two, downstairs. Go to school."

"But she needs -" tried Elena.

Jeremy cut her off, "Okay, take care of her Aunt Jenna. See you later Maddie."

He caught Elena's arms and dragged her out of the room. Jenna closed the door.

 _*Alright. I can take care of her. It was long overdue anyway.*_

Her aunt strode to her bed and sat beside her. Madeline's body froze as Jenna suddenly took her in her arms. Images swirled in her mind, of herself, of her mother doing the same thing to Jenna, feeling of love, of worry, of… so many things hit her in the same time. She broke down once more and let herself sink in the blonde's embrace.

Jenna's hand stroked her back and her long tangled hair in a soothing way.

"It's okay Maddie, everything's okay…"

"It's not," Madeline cried. "It'll never be and I'm so tired… I'm so tired of it…"

The arms around her stiffened for a second before relaxing and going back to rubbing her back. "It'll be. One day, you'll wake up and you'll realize everything's fine. You'll be happy Madeline, I promise."

She pulled back slightly, watery eyes looking at Madeline wistfully, and wiped her tears.

Madeline felt as if she couldn't breathe anymore. Jenna's voice was so worried about her, so concerned, and she couldn't… There was too much grief, too much fear and too much madness inside her. She couldn't keep it anymore.

"I miss them," she blurted, "And I shouldn't because I have no right."

Jenna opened her mouth to cut her off but Madeline continued. Floodgates had been open and wouldn't be closed anytime soon.

"They didn't love me anymore at the end because I'm broken and I'm going crazy with the voices in my head. I can't do it anymore. I can't look at people and know what they think. I'm crazy and it's scary. I'm so scared Aunt Jenna. I just want it to end, to be myself again, to be just me."

"Sweetie, Miranda and Grayson loved you so much," Jenna said while removing a strand of dark hair from Madeline's face, exposing her scare, "They never thought you're broken, and they loved you for who you are. A strong girl. Bad things had happened to you but hey, you're still there. You're our little miracle. Sweetie, you died for thirty minutes and yet you came back. Your brain should have had damage but you are healthy. Doctors said you would never wake up and you did. You're a miracle Madeline."

"I shouldn't have come back. Everything would have been easier. I wanted to cross the bridge, I hadn't even thought about Mom, Dad, Jer and El. I just wanted to go to gran. I should have died that day Aunt Jenna, but the after life didn't want me. Mom could barely look at me in the eyes and Dad only spoke to me when it was necessary. El thinks I'm crazy and she's right!"

"You're not. You just need to speak with someone. Miranda felt guilty."

"I know but it wasn't her fault!"

"Maybe, but she was your mother. I'm not one, but I'm pretty sure that's how parents act when their child is hurt and they can't do anything to help them. They loved you Madeline and they were so glad you've survived."

Madeline shook her head. "But I'm going mad. I can't stop the voices."

She continued to cry. She couldn't stop even though she knew she would regret it when Jenna decided to put her in a mental health facility. She was already thinking of searching for a psychiatrist.

"What voices Madeline?" Jenna asked and resumed stroking her back.

Madeline didn't answer immediately.

"Maddie?"

"Thoughts," she ended up murmuring, "I hear the thoughts of everyone, everytime. I can't stop it and… it hurts. It hurts so much. And I'm always so cold and tired."

The cold always seeped through her body, just like the cold water _that night_.

"What?" Jenna startled, her brow furrowed. _*Maybe she's really crazy and she needs help. Surely they can help her at the hospital.*_

Panic ran through Madeline and she jerked out of the clasp.

"No! I don't want to be locked away!"

"What do you mean Madeline? I would never -"

"You were thinking of the hospital! I don't want to go there!"

"Wh-How? How can you… Have you just…"

Madeline winced and moved back and hold her knees against her chest. A shiver ran through her body.

"I told you," she whispered, "I can hear thoughts… I can't stop it."

Jenna's eyes were wide open and she was staring at her as if it was the first time she truly saw her. "You really can… Alright, what am I thinking right now?"

"Blue peaches, green clouds, one two three and," Madeline frowned, "Why would an elephant even eat your ex-boyfriend? Just because he cheated on you doesn't mean he should die. Just be mangled a bit."

"Wow. It's… amazing. It's really amazing. Did Miranda and Grayson…"

"They didn't know. I've never said it to anybody. At first I didn't understand and when I did…I couldn't say anything."

She hid her face in her knees and closed her eyes. Jenna made a move to reach her so she said, "it's worst when someone touches me."

Her voice was muffled and low but Jenna heard it and remembered all the time Madeline had stiffened when someone touched her, her large sweater protecting her from contact, the way she always step back when someone was too close to her.

"How is it worst?" she asked, really curious.

"It's… There is also feelings and images when I touch someone. It's too much. But then again the voices are already too much. I can never focus on anything. It just… hurts. It's maddening."

"Incredible…"

Madeline snorted, "Not really."

Then Jenna frowned and realized what exactly she meant by 'reading minds every time.' She wrinkled her nose, "When you meant every time…"

"I meant _exactly_ every time."

"So when I'm…"

"Yes."

"And when I…"

"Yes, too."

"Your parents?"

Madeline grimaced, turning slightly green, "Yes."

Jenna's face expressed the same thing than her.

"Oh god, that's awful. Have you tried to turn it off?" She looked at her and sighed, "Sorry, wrong question. Of course you tried."

Damn yes she tried. And tried. And tried. The only result she ever got was managing to focus on a group of people and ignore the other voices. They didn't disappear, they were always there, but the volume was lower. Of course, it was usually followed by her best friend Headache so she tried to not do it often and avoided crowded place in general.

"There's one thing I don't understand though," Jenna suddenly said, dragging Madeline out of her thoughts, "You've managed to keep it secret for two years. What's happened that you broke down today?"

Easy answer. She saw a monster in Vicki's mind. Something dark and twisted and it made her fucking scared because she had no idea what it was. It _couldn't_ be a vampire. It just couldn't be. Vampires do not exist. And will never do. Still, she needed to answer her aunt's inquiry.

"The day before yesterday," she said hesitantly, "I went to the hospital to see Vicki and touched her… I wanted to see what had attacked her."

"And? Did you see it?"

She bit her lower lip, tearing into it until the metallic taste of blood reached her taste bud, "I think so."

Her aunt's stare made her fidget.

"It wasn't an animal," Jenna stated, not even trying to make it sound like a question.

"No. It wasn't."

"Will you tell me who scared you so much?"

"… I don't think it was a _who_ neither."

She was pretty sure it wasn't actually. Though she had first dismissed Vicki's nightmare as just that, a nightmare, a day and two nights had passed since then. In retrospect, she could now admit that Vicki's fear had been real. More than that, the girl had been terrified. So, yeah, whatever attacked Vicki had wore the face of a monster. The cold and hate in his eyes still made her stomach knot. And if she wasn't so sure it wasn't biologically possible, she would have sworn her heart was in her throat.

"It had sharp teeth" Madeline replied to her aunt's silent question with a quivering voice, "Canines, actually. And red eyes. And…those black vein under red eyes. It had torn apart Vicki's throat."

Jenna paled, "Sounds like some kind of vampire."

"But vampires don't exist," Madeline countered.

Jenna lied down on her back and stared at the ceiling, "Says the girl who can read mind."

"Reading mind is one thing. Vampire is another. Just because a guy think he's like super old and has good hearing doesn't mean he's a vampire. I mean, he and his brother could be mutants, or demons, or…elves?"

"Some guy?" Jenna repeated, puzzled, "What do you mean?"

Madeline fidgeted.

"That Salvatore guy," she said tentatively, "He thinks he's a vampire and that his brother had hurt Vicki. He thinks about blood sometimes and likes Elena… He has observed her all summer because she looked like a girl he knew before… Or so he thinks. I mean, it's ridiculous. The guy is just some weirdo with a blood kink and needs to stay far away from El."

"So… Stefan Salvatore is a vampire and is after Elena? Wonderful. I should totally freak out. Why am I not freaking out?"

"Because vampires don't exist?"

Jenna sighed and turned her face to look at her, "Sweetie, I think you're in denial. Shouldn't I be the one doing that?"

"But Aunt Jenna, vampires don't exist," Madeline insisted, "They _can't_ exist."

"Why not?"

"Because," she began to say before she realized she didn't know the answer. She knew vampires didn't exist, but she couldn't justify her answer. But then again, what was there to justify? The sky is blue, that was something everyone knew. Wasn't it the same for vampires? They couldn't exist. They really couldn't. Because if they did… If they did…

"See? No reason. Honestly, if you can read minds, I don't see why vampires couldn't exist. Especially when you heard someone think he's one."

Well, said like this, it made sense. Still… "He might still be something else. Same for what attacked Vicki."

"Well, yes, it's possible. You know what? We need more information. Besides, if there are really vampires in town… I'm not sure how to protect you. We can't go to Elena and tell her the guy she likes is a vampire and wants to drain her."

"He doesn't," Madeline admitted reluctantly, "I'm not fond of him and he might be a serial killer, but if he's not just a weirdo guy and actually drinks blood… Then sure he thinks about her blood, but he's… more like Edward Cullen?"

Jenna's relief was obvious and her whole body relaxed. A weight had been lift from her shoulders. "Alright. So, on one hand, we've got bunny bloody guy who's pinning after Elena, and on the other hand we've got a dangerous possible vampire who attacked Vicki."

"Yes. But I'm still pretty sure they're not vampire. Stefan's a weirdo and possibly a psychopath because he thought about some people he killed but vampires?"

"It's a better explanation that elves. Seriously Madeline, elves?"

Madeline chose to not answer, the red on her cheeks more telling than any words she could blurt out. They stayed quiet for a while, Jenna thinking about everything she has learnt and Madeline looking out the window. The sun was high in the sky now, and the sunrays felt warm on her skin. She liked it. It felt peaceful. And it was, somehow. Sure, she could still hear people's mind. But speaking to Jenna had freed her from a little part of her burden and it felt good.

After a while, Jenna left the bed and stood up. Looking one last time at the ceiling, she told Madeline they really needed to find information, even if they didn't have any clues where to find them apart from Madeline reading mind.

"Maybe you can search on the Internet," the blonde ended up suggesting.

Madeline looked up at her aunt, incredulous. "Internet?" she repeated.

"What? You've got a better idea?"

"Well…No."

"Internet then. You google vampires, and I search at the library. There must be some books about it."

As her aunt said that, she raised an eyebrow, "Books? Really?"

"Why not? You can find anything in books, you know. You just have to know where to look."

"…If you say so," Madeline replied skeptically.

* * *

Eventually, Madeline managed to convince Jenna that yes, she felt better and yes, Jenna could -should- go to College -and party- just like she had first planned. It was great, in fact, to stay at home alone for once, with just her thoughts. Tyler had texted her early to check if she was sick and Matt also sent her a message to tell her Vicki was feeling better.

Once she was alone, she took her laptop and went to sit in the living room as the internet connection was better downstairs. There, she sat on the couch with her laptop, ready - and inwardly cringing at the mere idea - to research about vampires.

Of course, the first item on the research list was Wikipedia. Not the best thing but, well, it was a good start to prove her aunt that vampires were so not real. She would definitely find better results if she looked for mutant, or something like that.

She skimmed the website, wrinkling her nose at some information. According to old European folklores, vampires were bloated and dark. Not handsome or gaunt. Oh, and they wore shrouds. Somehow, she had a hard time imaging Stefan Salvatore wearing a shroud. And despite being a bit too broody, he wasn't bloated. Still, that first description fitted in better with the whole dead moving body. For that matter, it was also a bit disgusting to imagine people eager to have sex with… well, a dead body. Sure, it was moving, but Zombie also moved and yet Merle Dixon didn't fuck one despite the dick he was.

She almost threw up when she arrived at the part describing some rituals to identify a vampire. A virgin boy in a graveyard? A virgin stallion? Urgh She didn't even want to know what the vampire was supposed to do with the boy or the stallion. Besides that disturbing information, she found some possible protection, such as -of course- garlic, or branch of wild rose and hawthorn. She was a bit surprised for the mustard seed on the roof of the house thing but, well, the idea was as stupid as vampires were so, why not? Mirrors were also rumored to keep vampires away.

At least, Buffy the Vampire Slayer wasn't completely wrong. Staking and decapitation did work to destroy vampires. It was funny to imagine how Jenna would react when she said she needed to stake or behead something -she would have said someone, but they weren't really people, were they? Or maybe she could just try to find lots of holy water.

With a deep sigh, Madeline stretched her arms up over her head, and mumbled, "At least I can now say Salvatore isn't a vampire. He might be crazy, but he doesn't look like a walking corpse."

She huddled against the back of the sofa and smiled at the sight of her fluffy orange sock over her blue leggings. It clashed totally with her large violet knitwear and damn, she loved it. Not that it clashed. She just loved being able to wear comfy clothes in her house, not caring about her scars or the looks of people on her. She dozed off a bit, thankful for having only her own voices in her head for a change.

It didn't last. Elena and Bonnie came home together. Their voices -Bonnie's anxious one and Elena's excited one- woke her up. Great, her lovely sister had invited a guy at home, once again without asking Jenna, a day when Jenna wasn't there, and when she had seen her sister break down in the morning. Great. Just great. What was she supposed to do now? Jeremy was probably at the Grill, and Salvatore was coming at her home. The possible vampire according to Jenna. The real psychopath according to her. In both case, it was hell. Elena was cute, and kind, but sometimes, she really needed to see the bigger picture.

"Maddie, you're there!" Elena suddenly exclaimed once she saw her in the couch, "You feel better?"

She nodded but doesn't bother replying aloud as she tried to hide her disappointment at not being alone anymore.

"Stefan is coming for dinner. I hope you don't mind?" Elena continued, not offended by her silence.

"You know," Madeline said wryly, "Common sense demands you ask me that _before_ inviting a guy at home."

"Sorry," Elena replied sheepishly, "But you don't mind?"

YEEEEESSSS! She completely did mind! "El, you do realize you ask a teenager boy to come at home when there is no responsible adult, and without even asking Jenna or me about it?"

"Well… When you say it like that, it looks worse than it is. Bonnie's there too."

"Yeah, wonderful for a threesome," she deadpanned, only to wince when Bonnie's screaming voice echoed in her mind.

"It's not like that! Maddie… Pretty please?"

Oh no, not the puppy eyes. "Pretty pretty please?"

Urgh.

"Alright," Madeline breathed out, cursing her lack of strength when dealing with puppy eyes. Or, more exactly, the puppy eyes and the begging voice. Both aloud and in her head. Damn it. "But I stay with you."

Elena's eyes widened before a large smile appeared on her face, "Thanks Maddie!" She hesitated a second before adding, "just, no joke about sparkling in the sun, or being broody."

"Of course. I'll be the kindest possible. Promise." She would just have a knife at her disposal all the time. Just in case. "But I'm not eating whatever you've bought. I'll make some pasta." With garlics. A lot of garlics. Just so she could say Aunt Jenna 'I told you so'.

"You can make some for us too? Please?"

"Of course, no problem."

She went to the kitchen and began to cook. In the meantime, Elena and Bonnie prepared the table, the latter surprising them when she knew where to find the serving spoons without opening any drawer.

Half an hour had passed when the doorbell rang out in the house.

"Ok, he's here," Elena stated nervously, "Don't be nervous. Just be your loving self."

Madeline watched her leave and smirked.

"Do you think she was talking to you or herself?" she asked Bonnie who was freaking out about witches.

"I have no idea," Bonnie said, smiling, "Huh… Do you want me to distract Stefan so you can go change before he sees you?"

"Change? Why would I do that?"

Bonnie looked her up and down pointedly but Madeline only snickered, "Hey, I'm in my home, I can wear what the hell I want. Besides, it's comfy. Anyway, I'm going to put that on the table"

She took the salad bowl containing everything but salad -meaning, pasta, tomato sauce and garlics- and left the kitchen. She had no desire to let Elena and Stefan exchange mushy cheesy lines.

"Good evening Dracula," she greeted with a smirk when she saw him. Once again, he stiffened, his mind whirling about the possibility of her knowing what he was. He was really into the vampire thing too much for his own good. "I would have said Edward Cullen, but Elena has asked me to not make Twilight jokes. She just forgot how many vampire movies there are."

"Madeline," he said with a strain smile. "I didn't know you would be here."

"I live here," she retorted with a deadpan expression, "You're not the brightest bulb in the box, are you?"

She examined his reaction carefully. Elena looked at her, outraged, while Stefan only tilted his head. He was wary but then thought about how Elena told him she was a bit crazy since her accident and chuckled, "I guess I'm not. Sorry, my remark was a bit stupid."

* * *

Next chapter: Freaky Pokémon and a doomy dinner.


	4. Freaky Pokémon and a doomy dinner

**4\. Freaky Pokémon and a doomy dinner**

* * *

"Well, that's awkward," Madeline deadpanned, weary of Elena's, Bonnie's and Stefan's sidelong looks and thoughts - loud thoughts. Bonnie was the loudest as she had a really bad feeling about the weirdo Elena was enamored with. For that, Madeline could only agree with her, even if she was a bit skeptical about the whole 'I may be a witch' thing. Though it would still make more sense than the Salvatore brothers being vampires.

Elena had tried more than once to make vamp-guy and pretty witch speak to each other. It was almost cute, how she tried, and tried, and tried. And yet nothing had happened so far. Just a few words, than it was back to silence. Well, at least for them, because Madeline could hear exactly how much they all thought it was awkward.

At least, she hadn't stayed for nothing. Now, she knew that, one, Stefan could eat garlic without even grimacing and two, the guy really wanted to make a good impression on Bonnie.

"Just a little bit," the weirdo psychopath - and apparently sycophant - answered with a polite smile, "Almost as much as meeting Matt was."

Madeline raised an eyebrow as Elena's cheeks reddened. "Really? You've already done the whole exes talk _and_ meeting?" She turned her head towards Bonnie to see her reaction but the Bennett didn't seem surprised. "Wow, that's fast. Do I need to look for a dress for the wedding?"

"Maddie!" Elena hissed, "You promised!"

"Right," she replied, tilting her head and trying to look innocent - and completely failing at it. It was quite a shame that someone like Stefan who might have killed people could look completely innocuous and she couldn't. Although, it might be the reason why he hadn't already been caught by the police. "Let's reshot the scene. You've already done the whole exes talk and meeting? Did she tell you about the time I caught her and Bonnie kissing each other for training?"

Bonnie let her head hit the table a few time, avoiding her plate by some miracle. "Please, tell me you didn't say that," she pleaded, although inwardly she was truly hesitating whether she should laugh or not.

"We were twelve!" Elena rapidly explained to her - unfortunately - new boyfriend.

"Twelve and totally cute. I think I still have the pictures, if you're interested."

"WHY WOULD HE BE INTERESTED IN PICTURES OF TWO TWELVE YEARS OLD KISSING FOR FUCK'S SAKE MADDIE?!" Elena screamed, panicked.

At that, Bonnie finally lost it and laughed out loud, her arms around her middle as she tried to catch her breath.

The weirdo, on the other hand, realized her cute sister was actually human and able to be angry, just like most human beings. He wasn't freaking out, and actually thought it was kind of adorable how she felt embarrassed. It wasn't the kind of reaction Madeline had hoped for, however. Him running away would have been better because, well… Sure, she was trying to annoy Elena like every first meeting with the family should go, but it wasn't her only motive. The weirdo _had_ thought about being old like dust. At least more than one hundred years old. Okay, he might not look like that, but he was still interested into fucking her sister despite thinking he was old. It was just creepy. So, yeah, he might not be interested into twelve years old's pictures, but her sister was still only seventeen. And they had knew each other for only a few days!

"Elena, it's okay, I know she was just joking," Stefan chuckled.

"She was?" Elena repeated dubiously, "She wasn't Stefan. You don't know her. She really wasn't." The brunette turned her doe light brown eyes towards Madeline. "You weren't, right?"

She snorted, "Of course I was El'. I'll wait for the wedding to show him the pictures."

"You take to heart the whole "first meeting with the parents", aren't you?" the weirdo asked her, a knowing glint in his eyes. And in his mind, of course.

"Well, Mum and Dad aren't here anymore," she began to say, ignoring the wince in Elena's face and the lump in her own throat, " _Jenna_ 's not here," she continued, looking pointedly at Elena, "So, someone has to embarrass Elena."

"Please," the latter said earnestly. "Can we change the conversation? Like, Bonnie, why don't you tell Stefan about your family?"

"Um, divorced," Bonnie replied, sobered, and hurt that Elena would ask her something that private, "No mom. Live with my dad."

Elena shook her head. "No, about the witches." She glanced at Stefan. "Bonnie's family has a lineage of witches. It's really cool."

As the subject went on, Stefan's mind travelled back to the nineteenth century and a Bennett witch he knew back in his first days as a vampire. Madeline tried to not react in any way at what she could hear but it was difficult. Especially as she was trying to find out what exactly he was. He might thought he was a vampire, but that didn't mean he was. He might be something else and named it 'vampire'. Right, it sounded lame but she couldn't accept just yet that vampires truly existed. He had eaten garlic, for fuck's sake! And she could see his reflection in the mirror on the wall! Internet couldn't be so wrong!

The doorbell rang, cutting off the conversation. Elena moved her chair to get up but Madeline stopped her, "It's okay, I'll go."

She left the living room, relieved to wake her legs a bit. From where she was, she could hear Caroline's bubbly thoughts, although there was something…artificial and weird, different from usual, and the thoughts of someone she had never met. And from what she could hear, she wasn't sure he was someone she wanted to meet. Of course, she didn't like the weirdo, but going into his girlfriend's house just for the sake of annoying him? _Threatening_ to hurt his girlfriend who looked like Katherine? Right, she might even dislike the guy behind her door even more than the weirdo.

She was just a few steps before the door when the conversation between the unknown guy and Caroline and their thoughts took a weirder - and slightly sinister - turn.

 _*Don't forget. You're not to say a word about me.*_

 _*I'm not to say a word about you.*_

 _*You can't remove your scarf.*_

 _*I can't remove my scarf.*_

 _*Will he kill me when it's over?*_

 _*Such a dumb pretty face.*_

Madeline stiffened. God, what was happening in Mystic Fall? Her heart was beating wildly as she reached the door and opened it. There, smiling and shining _almost_ like usual, Caroline was there with a bag in her hand. Besides her stood a tall and handsome man with dark hair and striking blue eyes. Fear gripped Madeline as the image of the demon who had attacked Vicki replaced his face. It was him. He didn't have the cold red eyes and the blood on his chin, but it was him nonetheless.

A shiver ran through her body and she tried to conceal it by wrapping her arms around her middle. Alright. She could do it. She just needed to breathe and everything would be alright. Sure, there was a monster on her doorstep, but then again there was a possible psychopath in her living room. So, yes, everything was alright. She would just continue what she had done since the beginning of this fucking week. Meaning, protect her family.

"Can I help you?" she said with a strain smile.

"Maddie!" Caroline beamed at her, "Bonnie said Elena, Stefan and her were doing dinner, so we brought dessert. They're still there, right?"

She nodded, eyeing carefully the other guy. But not discreetly enough, as he thought she was 'undressing him with her eyes.' Oh, and that she smelt weird. It sure said something about her week around the weirdo number one when that comment actually made her feel safer. Just a bit, but still.

"Hope you don't mind," the guy - Damon according to Caroline's mind and oh god, he was really Stefan's brother then - said, smiling not unkindly - but not honestly.

Caroline entered the house and pecked her cheek just as Elena, Bonnie and Stefan came behind her. Obviously, the latter wasn't glad to see his brother and for once, she could actually agree with him. There was no way the guy was putting one foot into her house. She hadn't been able to stop Stefan from coming in, the other brother was staying _out_. Especially if, if they were real brothers, Stefan might be of the same kind of monster Damon was. Not that saying no would actually stop him from entering, but surely he wouldn't try anything with other people around?

"What are you doing here?" Stefan asked harshly.

"Waiting for Elena to invite me in. Or the lovely miss… I'm sorry, I didn't get your name?"

Madeline's eyes widened. She nearly missed it with all the things she was hearing, but the guy couldn't actually enter her home without an invitation first. Damn, what kind of creature was he? But more important, the door had just become the best protection of the world. Oh door, sweet door, it was now the ring to her Gollum.

She could only hope Elena would think before inviting someone in.

"It's Madeline, and no, you _can't_ enter."

Damon Salvatore - scary weirdo - glowered for a tiny little second, although she might have missed it if not for his angry thoughts. The weirdo behind her, however, smiled triumphantly.

"Huh? Why can't he Maddie?" Elena asked, puzzled.

"Yeah _Maddie_ , why can't I?" the scary weirdo added with a smirk.

She ignored him, turning to face her sister in a way her back wasn't completely turned toward Vicki's assailant. "You're really asking El?! First, you invite some guy you met just a week ago for a late dinner at our home when Jenna's not here! It's dangerous, but I still let you do it because you begged me to. I don't mind Caroline or Bonnie, the girls can come whenever they want, but you should have asked before inviting Stefan. And now this? The guy's brother just comes to a house he wasn't invited to and actually thinks he'll get in? Yeah, right, not on my watch!"

She glared at Damon, feeling brave with the doorstep between them. "You want to stay and have some idle chitchat? Sure, no problem, but you don't _ever_ enter this house. It's not raining, it's not chilly, and there's a bench in the porch, we can just stay _outside_."

She clenched her fists and went back to the living room as Elena went out of the house, followed by a reluctant Stefan, a curious Bonnie, and a still smiling - even if confused - Caroline. Now that she was alone in the house, with just the voices of the others and not their presence as well, her bravado front failed and she let herself fall on the floor, shaking. What was she supposed to do? There were two monsters on her porch. One who was _trying_ to play human - and who could enter her house - and one who was _playing_ with the humans. She couldn't call Jenna. Her aunt was partying. Of course, if she called her, she would come back straightaway, but she had drunk and it would be too dangerous for her. But who else? No one. If they had been human, she wouldn't have hesitated to call Tyler, but she couldn't put him in danger. She couldn't be the cause for the death of another Lockwood. Sebastian had died. Tyler would not.

She raised her head and saw the glint of the silver knife on the table. She stood up, her legs wobbling a bit and reached for it. Her fingers clasped around it, trembling. It felt like her lifeline. The lifeline of Elena. Of Bonnie. Of Caroline. Oh God, sweet Caroline. What had Damon done to her? She couldn't let her go back home with him. She just couldn't.

She breathed deeply. She needed a plan. Then, then… It was completely ludicrous but she would get up early the next day, go to the supermarket, find lots of mustard seeds and put them on the damn roof. Not because weirdo psycho number one and scary weirdo number two were vampires. Nope. They weren't. Vampire so didn't exist. But if mustard could repel imaginary vampires, who was she to not try tu use it for real monsters?

God, did Stefan also do the Gengar's red eyes and Zubat's pointed teeth thing?

Elena's voice called for her from the doorstep, asking if everything was alright. Inwardly, she was feeling a bit guilty for making Madeline stressed when she obviously needed a calm environment. Well, her baby sister wasn't totally wrong. Should Madeline have grey hair before the end of the month, she knew who the guilty party was.

But then again, Elena was a bit naïve and still had some growing up to do so, yes, she had acted imprudently but at the end of the day, she was still a victim. And Madeline so wasn't going to do victim blaming. No sir. But victim maiming? Well, that was something else.

"Yeah, yeah," she answered Elena, "I'm coming."

She hid the knife in her sleeve carefully and went outside. Though she knew it was actually quite warm outside, she could only feel the cold seeping inside her bones. A strained smile on her face, she went to lean against the wall, not too far from the girls. She could do it.

Caroline and Damon were sitting on the bench, Caroline on the scary weirdo's lap. Something that, if Madeline had her way, would change soon enough. Elena was leaning against a pillar, Stefan by her side. And Bonnie, sweet Bonnie, was simply sitting cross-legged on the ground, as if everything was alright in the world. Which was wrong. Very wrong.

"What took you so long?" Elena asked worriedly, thus stopping the others from their fascinating talk on dead families, dead lovers and grieving people being such a bore.

"Nothing," she replied nonchalantly though her grip on the knife tightened, her hand thankfully hidden by the long sleeve, "I was just trying to find how to catch two troublesome Pokémon. You know, just the usual."

A beautiful silence followed her statement. Even their minds were blank and she closed her eyes to enjoy it, even if only for a few seconds. God, _that_ was pleasure.

And like everything in her damn life, pleasure was followed by her friend headache as their minds blew up with loud - so loud people in China could probably hear them if only they could read minds - thoughts. Damon, 'surprisingly', already knew about her being slightly crazy - Elena just loved telling about pretty much everyone how her sister hadn't always been like that. _Love you too sis'_.

"…Right?" the said sister laughed weakly, twisting nervously a strand of hair.

"What kind of Pokémon?" Caroline asked, grinning, and Madeline could have kissed the girl right now if it wasn't for what one touch would entail. The blond was just awesome like that. And her thoughts didn't felt as artificial as before, which was definitely a plus.

She ignored to the best of her capacity Stefan's train of thought about what was probably hidden behind Caroline's scarf and shrugged, "oh just a Gengar and a Zubat, not the most awesome ones but it's not like I had a choice. Meowth would be so much better, 'cause you know, it's a cat."

"And cats are so cute," Caroline added cheerfully. _*Especially those with cute pink pads. And cute soft ears. Awww, now I want a cat.*_

 _*She's completely loony this one*_ scary weirdo number two's mind wondered, going so far to thinking that _eating_ her would make him a total basket case too.

Did that make her the forgotten fraternal twin of Luna Lovegood? Or her reincarnation from another universe? Both theories were awesome, and she wasn't sure which one she wanted to be true. Though, being a Ravenclaw had never appealed to her. Hufflepuff was better, what with being so close to the kitchen.

Oh their neighbors on the right were making ugly babies and the ones on the left had children watching SpongeBob SquarePants. Being a sponge didn't seem like interesting future prospects. Though it was better than killing, assaulting or stalking people. Cough the Salvatore brothers cough.

* _Maddie… always faraway. I wish you would speak to me.*_

 _*What kind of other Pokémon could she think of? Meowth is the cutest!*_

 _*Clearly, a nutcase. What a pity, I can't even use her now.*_

Ah, she had nearly forgotten the wonderful people she was in the presence of.

"I wouldn't say no to a Nidorino either," Madeline mused aloud.

"Let me guess," Damon said snidely, "because it's cute?"

She raised her eyes and stared at him. It was bad. Very bad. First, the doorstep between them had let her feeling brave - foolish. Now the knife in her hand. But this was her home and she wanted him - them - out. As soon as possible. And with a bit of luck, Elena might stopped being so lovey-dovey with Stefan Salvatore and decided she was better without him. Besides, who needed a man to be a confident woman? Her sister didn't need one to heal from her grief.

Smiling, Madeline tilted her head and said, "Nah, but the horn could be useful to pull that stick full of shit out of your ass."

Elena's outraged gasp was less worrying than Stefan's fear for her. What did it say when a possible psycho was worried for your safety because of another psycho? Yeah, not good. At all. But at least, it might distract weirdo number two from Caroline and her baby sister - she really needed to look into that Katherine thing that made the brothers interested in her sister.

Although, Damon wasn't really angry at her. Actually, he was more amused. A bit like Bonnie who was seriously regretting not having popcorn.

Damn, now that was an idea. Popcorn meant sugar. Sugar meant yummy. Oh, Caroline's mind felt artificial once again and was struggling to choose between defending the weirdo or laughing like crazy.

"Maddie!" Elena snapped at her, "you don't even know him! He had been nothing but kind and polite to us". She turned towards the weirdo, "I'm so sorry Damon, I'm sure she didn't mean to be… like that."

Madeline snorted. Of course she had meant it. Damon seemed to think the same as he dismissed what her sister had just said and looked at her, smirking, "you don't like me, right?"

"Oh sweetie," she said dramatically, "I'm sure in another life we'd be besties forever and braid each other's hair. I mean, yours does look soft. In this life, though, you're just that older guy with a predilection for high school cheerleaders. And that's without the coming here uninvited, in the evening, strutting like you own the place. So… Nope, I don't like you."

His eyes narrowed so slightly most would have missed it. Her? Nope. Neither did Stefan who glanced at her with worry. Yet, when Damon spoke again, he still looked amused, not bothered by her words. But his eyes. God, his eyes were cold. So cold that she couldn't help but took a step back. A tiny step, but still a step. And scary weirdo saw it, because his smirk got bigger. "Oh _Maddie_ , I'm sure we can work this out. I'd love to braid your hair. Maybe even paint your nails. It would be such a _shame_ if we don't get along!"

How the hell could the words 'paint your nails' feel like a threat?

Ding ding dong. We had a winner. Answer: Because it totally was a threat.

And wasn't it awesome? The guy loved snapping neck. As if it was a fucking sport.

And the gold medal for snapping neck went to… Damon Salvatore, scary psycho and monster of quaint old Mystic Fall. Who wanted a snapped neck?

God, she was going to die. Again. Would the After-Life even accept her this time?

Suddenly, Stefan appeared between her and Damon. Caroline startled but didn't move. From her mind, Madeline learned that Damon could move as fast and the blond couldn't be scared. Why? Madeline had no idea, but the words were repeated again and again in the mind of her sister's friend.

This was ridiculous, though. The guy had thought to step in barely a second ago and he was now there. Sure, the distance between the pillar and the wall wasn't that big, but still. It was too fast. Almost, and god just thinking that was cringe-making, like a vampire. Or The Flash. Or Dash from The Incredibles.

Anyway, it simply meant the day scary weirdo number two decided to kill her, reading mind wouldn't help her.

Glancing at Elena, she realized her sister wasn't there anymore, neither was Bonnie. Had she been so terrified and focused on Damon's mind that she had completely missed their inside voices?

"It's time for you to go Damon," Stefan said sternly.

"But we're having so much fun, Stefan," he replied with a pout, "aren't we Maddie?"

Gulping, she had to gather all the courage in the world to speak again. The knife seemed pointless, somehow. A meager defense against a monster hidden behind a handsome face. It reminded her of her earlier questioning. If they weren't human, were they still people? Was Damon a 'he', or a 'it'? And what about Stefan?

"Being falsely charming won't make me more agreeable to invite you inside."

He squinted, "I see." He then pushed Caroline off his lap and stood. He was still smirking, and his eyes were still as cold as ice.

Once again, Madeline found herself taking a step back. Somehow, even with his back turned, Stefan knew where she was and what she was doing. He could hear her heart pounding and pumping blood. Even the blood coursing through her veins. Every breath she took. Damon could too, but his own mind were focused on showing Stefan how powerless the latter was. How he could play with every human without Stefan being able to do anything.

God, she had to make them leave. And save Caroline. She had to. And if she died because of it… Well, it wouldn't be the first time.

"C-Caroline," she stammered, shaking like a leaf, "c-come there is something I want to show you inside."

The blond cheerleader, who for the last five minutes had simply been sitting smiling, looked at her, confused and her brow furrowed, silently wondering why her date and his brother were acting like dogs at a pissing contest. "Sure?"

"Good."

Caroline had barely come by her side that Madeline grabbed her hand. The images suddenly swirling in her mind made her stumble but she caught herself and pulled the blond toward the home. Once the doorstep crossed, she let herself relaxed. They were safe. Or, at least, as safe as they could be in a town where there were one monster and one possible broody psychopath, and in a house where said broody psychopath could come in.

Yeah, they were doomed. And she was pretty sure she would be one of the first to die. Again.

* * *

Thanks for the reviews guys! Really ! You're awesome! And thanks for anyone who have followed/favorited this fic :)


	5. When it go kaboom, be an octopus

**5\. When it go kaboom, wait for the house-elves' master. Or be an octopus.**

* * *

If there was one thing life had taught Madeline, it was that there was no point in trying to escape nightmares. There were such a vicious thing, those nightmares, always coming back when people were at their weakest point, when they had no way to defend themselves. When they were asleep.

It was probably why, looking at Caroline sleeping on the sofa, Madeline felt guilty. Well, not totally guilty, but a little bit. The 'completely guilty' would without doubt come once her panic had receded. Because, seriously, she had drugged her sister's friend. With said sister's sleeping pills. It had been a reckless decision. A very bad move, irresponsible and possibly dangerous for the blonde's health. At the moment, it had seemed like a good idea. Asleep, Caroline wouldn't have been able to go home with the scary weirdo. She had even called the girl's mother so the woman would know where Caroline was.

In reality though? Nope. Not a good idea. Definitely not. Even if she managed to forget, for just a tiny moment, how dangerous it could have been - could still be - for Caroline, the girl's thoughts reminded her, again and again, how a bad idea it had been. Ever since she fell asleep, she had been having a nightmare. Madeline had accidentally touched her to remove the scarf and seen the same monster who had haunted Vicki's sleep at the hospital, aka Damon Salvatore in his Pokémon disguise. Unfortunately, being drugged also meant Caroline was unable to awaken despite being completely scared and trapped inside her mind. All because of Madeline.

Seriously, why couldn't she have died and reincarnated into an octopus? Life would have been much simpler. Even living as a rock would be better, just because she would then be able to slip into the shoes of people she disliked. Ah, what an existential question! Octopus or rock, what was better?

Though there might be a third way. Being a cloud could be quite fun, what with raining on people. That, and being so high in the sky that she wouldn't have to hear people's thoughts. And Caroline's scared nightmares. And her sister wondering how to speak with her without screaming like a banshee for ruining the evening.

The door of the living room opened, a slight creaking echoing in the silent house. Elena walked in and opened her mouth to speak before seeing Caroline. Wrinkles appeared on her forehead as she frowned, puzzled.

"Caroline's still here?" she wondered aloud, "I thought she left with Damon."

"Obviously not," Madeline replied in a brusque tone, a bit annoyed on the blonde's behalf -even though she had no right after drugging the girl. How could her sister not realize her friend hadn't gone home? "Unless Caroline has some weird doppelganger hooking up with the guy while she gets her beauty sleep."

 _*I haven't even realized…*_ Elena thought guiltily, a hand scratching her head. A sigh left her lips. She glanced at Madeline, grinding her teeth. "Can we talk…elsewhere?"

Yeah right, she might felt guilty for drugging Caroline but Madeline wasn't stupid. The girl was sleeping like a dog, she might as well stay in the same room so Elena wouldn't scream at her.

Not moving from her place on the armchair, she shook her head tiredly. No doubt the conversation was going to be exhausting. "I'd prefer staying here, if you don't mind," she replied quietly, "just to be sure we don't wind up in some screeching contest."

"Right," Elena said briskly, seething, her blood nearly boiling with anger, "because I've no reason to be angry with you. No reason at all." A glare. "You ruined the evening Maddie! The 'family meets boyfriend' thing, okay, I get it, but _Damon_? Stefan's brother? You've been a bitch to him before he even said a thing to you! What's wrong with you seriously? Do you hate me so much you feel you've to embarrass me every time I feel better?"

Maddie's eyes went wide, shocked. What. The. Fucking. Hell. How could being a bitch to the scary weirdo mean she hated her sister? There were absolutely no correlation! There were more links between looking like Gollum with a boner for his Precious and being in a fashion show!

Surely, it was only her anger speaking. Right. Only that. After all, if Elena really thought that, Madeline would have heard it before in her sister's mind. And she hadn't. So… Yeah, anger.

"Elena, breaking news, the world doesn't revolve around you," she deadpanned and ran a hand through her hair, "me disliking the guy doesn't mean I hate you. You're my sister, of course I love you." Elena didn't seem convinced so she added with a small smile, "do you want me to sing _'Can You Feel the Love Tonight'_?"

A girl from her mathematics class had had the song in her head for one full hour three days ago and she couldn't forget the lyrics now. Not that she had tried very much, seeing as there were more pressing matters.

Her sister's lips didn't even twitched, stuck in a thin, hard, line. Clearly, the brunette wasn't impressed with Madeline's willingness to sing love songs to her, even though it had been years since she had done such a thing. What a pity, her voice could use some training…'cause she had that talent to break glass with her singing. Well, not actually breaking, but close enough. Or that was what Sebastian used to say, grinning, when she sang Disney song. In the end though, he always listened to her.

Her heart pounded hard and she gripped her knees tightly. There was no point thinking about Sebastian right now. "Look Elena, I admit that I've been… unpleasant to Stefan's brother -"

Elena snorted and cut her off, "That's putting it mildly."

She ignored her and continued as if Elena hadn't said a word, "but something about him felt… off. I know what you're going to say, I don't know him, but it doesn't change I've a very bad feeling about the guy."

Elena's glare softened, even if only for a bit, and she grumbled, "And Stefan?"

"What do you mean?" she raised an eyebrow, "haven't you just said that you get it? How did you call it? Family meets boyfriend?"

"Yes, but I'd need to be blind to not see that you don't like him."

"I wouldn't call it dislike… More…a slight distaste. And suspicion. The apple can't fall far from the tree."

Damn, that sounded so judgy. Yet, she couldn't very well say to Elena 'dear sister, your boyfriend likes the smell of your blood so much it's difficult not to eat you. And oh, he has thought about killing people but, hey, it's in the past so everything's alright!' Also, deep down, Madeline knew that even if she didn't know a thing about the broody weirdo and his scary brother, she would feel uncomfortable with the idea of Stefan and Elena's relationship. Her sister was still grieving.

Inwardly, Elena was under the impression that she had spent too much time grieving, yet the truth was that it had only been a few months since their parents' deaths. Only a few months to get used to a life without them, with two months spent isolated inside their home for the summer. Sure, the girl was getting better with every passing day but Madeline didn't want to see her sister's happiness and well-being be based solely on a boy she had just met. Elena needed to mourn their parents, move on and find within herself how to be happy before getting together with someone and building a strong, lasting, and healthy relationship. Right now, Elena was doing the exact opposite, was throwing herself into Stefan's arms. It was as if suddenly, her will to live came down to breathe the same air as Stefan, and Madeline couldn't help but feel it was unhealthy and noxious.

"Elena, you…," she said softly, "I don't completely disapprove your relationship with Edward Cullen's lookalike," she totally did, "it's just that… You're stronger than you think. You're a lovely girl and… I know, I'm fully aware, that you feel like you world had been turned upside down, and it's not completely wrong. Mom and dad are… gone, but our family is still there! It's not broken. _You_ 're not broken. One day, you'll be better, you'll smile and your smile will be true, I promise. But for that, you need to _heal_. To grieve and move on, to stop feeling guilty. It was an accident, Elena. A stupid and tragic accident, and in no case was it your fault. But Elena, you don't need Stefan to move on. Or more precisely, you don't need to have your whole world revolving around Stefan. He makes you happy, I get it, but you have to be happy without him too, otherwise you risk forgetting who you truly are…"

Her words were clumsy and she didn't know if she had succeeded in saying exactly what she wanted to her sister. Maybe in a few years, Elena and Stefan would make a beautiful couple - if the police hadn't arrested him by then. However, should Elena fail to be happy again on her own and cope with her guilt only thanks to Stefan's presence, what would be left of her without him? Who would Elena Gilbert be, if not the girl in love with Stefan Salvatore?

"Like you?" Elena asked weakly, her anger deflating, "it's what you mean, isn't it? Like you've forgotten who you were without Sebastian…"

Her words hit Madeline hard, slashed into her flesh, cut her deep, leaving her out-of-breath, sick, her hands clammy and shaking. Her heart in her mouth.

"No, not like me," she denied, "our situations are completely different."

Losing Sebastian had been hard. It still was. She missed him, and would probably always do. She hadn't just lost a lover, but also her best friend and confidant. The one person she told everything, the one who knew everything about Madeline Gilbert. The one she knew inside and out. They had known each other's desires and fears. Doubts. Dreams. Hopes. There wasn't a thing they hadn't known about the other. Losing him, it was like losing a part of herself. Of her soul, even. Yet, it wasn't the worst. No matter how self-absorbed it sounded, the worst had been to awaken. To awaken, cold and terrified after such a long time spent in the freezing darkness, and find a loud world. So loud. Secrets weren't secrets anymore. Every little detail was revealed to her. People were narcissists, full of hatred, loving, took drugs, made love, fucked like animals, hated themselves, wanted to die, lived life to the fullest, sang, danced, broke apart, yelled, hurt, all at the same time, again and again.

What had once been normal wasn't anymore, and her family had then appeared to be different as well. Not that she didn't loved them, but their Madeline Gilbert had disappeared in the cold waters beneath Wickery Bridge, had died beside Sebastian Lockwood. She had seen a piece of the afterlife, so warm, peaceful and beautiful, and she had crossed the bridge while the other Madeline, the one rejected by heaven, had to relearn how to live. And when she had dared to think she could get through it, that she could pick up the pieces of herself and put them back together, be once again the girl she had been and live despite the voices in her head, her family had been torn apart. Wickery Bridge and its water were haunting her, the bridge was a curse on its own. Because of all this, there wasn't a 'getting better' for her. There was only living one day at a time. And, now, protecting her family from Mystic Falls' monsters.

"Very different," she murmured again.

She then stood up, the movement interrupting her sister's wistful thoughts - at least, Elena was considering her words -, and waved her hands towards Caroline, "We should remove her shoes and scarf, so she's more comfortable."

Elena nodded and stared at her friend with a gentle look, even if still sad, "Can you bring me the micellar lotion? She'll freak out tomorrow if she slept in her makeup."

"Alright. You undress her?"

"Yes, I can do this."

She took a few steps before Elena stopped her, "Maddie?"

"Yes?" she replied, a hand on the door frame. Despite already knowing what her sister was going to say, she found herself eager to hear the words out loud, to hear Elena not only thinking but saying the words.

"Thank you… for always looking after me."

Madeline smiled. A true smile, no matter how small it was. "You're welcome El."

She had barely made it to the bathroom that Elena cried out in shock and fear for Caroline, both in her mind and aloud. "Oh my God!" * _Oh my God! Who did this? Oh my god, Care, who hurt you? Damon, it must be him. Damn it, what am I supposed to do? Maddie, please, hurry up. Maddie! Maddie will know what to do. Right. There're so much bruises and teeth marks… How could you smile like that when you're hurt Care?*_ "Maddie!" _*Why isn't she waking up?*_

Madeline tensed. She had been right, Damon had done something to Caroline. And teeth marks… Hadn't Stefan thought about his brother biting Caroline? Feeding on her? Using her? Fuck, this was so wrong. So fucking wrong. This was Voldemort wrong. Not yet Sauron wrong, but she had the feeling they were getting there.

She grabbed a packet of wipes and the make-up remover and ran downstairs.

"You called?" she asked Elena when she entered the living room, acting oblivious.

Elena, who until now had been pacing in front of the sofa, stopped and looked at her, fear for her friend and helplessness in her eyes. "It's Caroline," she said hysterically, "there're bruises and bites all over her body and she's not waking up! We need to call the hospital and her mother!"

Madeline winced. "I drugged her,' she admitted.

"YOU WHAT?!" Elena yelled, furious, before she shook her head, "forget it, it's not important right now! Maddie, Care's hurt! Somebody hurts her! It's Damon, right? It has to be him! And Stefan, he told me to be careful around Damon, so he knew! He knew and let that bastard hurt Care!"

Well, her sister wasn't wrong, but neither was she completely right. Although she disliked the broody weirdo, Stefan hadn't wanted Damon to enter their home and had stepped in when Damon had frightened her. The brothers didn't get along very well and Stefan was truly worried about what Damon could do. For some reasons though, he couldn't stop the scary weirdo. And now, Caroline was the first victim of what would surely become a longer list. With her own name on it, probably. Lucky her. Or not.

Elena was coming close to tearing her hair out so Madeline came up to her, next to the sofa where Caroline was sleeping. The teeth marks were gruesome and quite deep, with bruises all around. The purple contrasted starkly with the pale complexion. Asleep and the marks exposed, the seventeen years-old cheerleader appeared delicate, frailer than what her usual confident exterior led people to believe.

Madeline frowned. She was missing something. Something big. And Caroline was the key. Damon bit her sister's friend, of that Madeline had no doubt. He had hurt her, fed on her - whatever it meant - and yet, Caroline hadn't been scared of the guy. Not even once had she thought about being scared. Quite the contrary, she had wondered why she wasn't. She had been slightly puzzled about it, but hadn't questioned it. She had been completely at ease with Damon. Why? Why would a teenage, neurotic and insecure girl not be scared at all of the man who had hurt her?

"That's it, I'm calling her mom," Elena said suddenly, jolting Madeline back into reality.

"It's a wonder she's missed all these bruises."

"I know," Elena muttered, frustrated, "but then again, it's not like she's often there."

It was true. After their parents' deaths, they had spent a few weeks at Caroline and Elizabeth's house while Jenna was taking care of the funeral and getting ready to take care of them. Caroline's mother was rarely present, always working.

Common sense dictated them to call the sheriff but Damon Salvatore wasn't human. He was a monster hiding behind a handsome face. The last time she checked, Elizabeth Forbes was human. What could the woman do? What could they do? Common sense wouldn't help them, nor would it protect them. She didn't know what exactly Damon and Stefan could do, besides being fast and having a very good sense of hearing. Scratch that, it was more than 'good'. At that point, they were surely on par with Superman. So… Damon could come and kill them if he heard them calling Elizabeth. And they would be dead before the woman arrived. Even if he was unable to come into the house, nothing stopped him from burning down the house.

Fuck, she was going to regret ever saying that but, "maybe we should wait until tomorrow."

"What?" Elena exclaimed, "You're not serious, right?"

"I drugged Caroline…"

"Yeah, but it was for her own good!"

She shook her head, "That sounds like a rapist's excuse." She sighed, "Elizabeth will kill me. And Caroline will resuscitate me and then kill us for telling her mother. You know how she is."

"Yes but it doesn't change a thing. Maddie, we have to tell her mother. Look at her wounds, it's not a game, it's serious! She's really hurt!"

"And I know that Elena," she replied and let herself fall on the ground. She leant against the sofa, being careful of not touching Caroline's legs with her head. "But even though I'm sure Damon is the one who hurt her, we have no proof. We could be wrong. For all we know, that bastard could have saved her from some other guy." Damn, it sounded so lame and unbelievable. Yeah, Damon could be innocent. In a world where sexy people were always given free passes at hurting others.

Elena threw up her hands in the air, exasperated, "you don't even believe it!"

"And what if we're wrong?" Wait, it wasn't the right approach. "Elena, guys like him never end up in jail. We need evidence."

Hopefully, Jenna would be back in the morning and know what to do.

"Alright," Elena relented begrudgingly, "we'll wait until Care wakes up and ask her about it. Knowing her, I doubt she'll say anything though. If it's really Damon, Stefan must know something."

"You can't just ask him 'Stefan, is you brother a fucking bastard?'," she countered.

Elena rolled her eyes, "I won't, I'm not like you. There's something called subtlety."

"Don't know it, is it something to eat?" Madeline asked with big, naïve eyes. She then furrowed her brow, "seriously, what are you going to do?"

"Ask him question, observe him, maybe even stalk him? I don't know, now that we're speaking, I feel like we're missing something."

"Really?" she asked Elena, shocked. Her sister didn't even know about the monsters and she was still willing to stalk Stefan? For Caroline's sake? "He's your boyfriend…"

Elena tilted her head, a bit hurt at her skepticism, "A boyfriend I don't really know. Caroline's my friend."

"Alright, but please be careful. Stalking him might be a tad extreme. And possibly dangerous."

 _*Maddie might well be right on that… I don't think Stefan will hurt me, but Damon? If he did that to Caroline, what would he do to me if he knows I'm sticking my nose into his business?*_

An octopus. She really should have been an octopus.

* * *

The next day saw Madeline on a ladder. Not the best combination as she had nearly lost her footing a few times. She didn't stop climbing though, and was determined to put the mustard seeds on the gutter around the roof.

Caroline had woken up early in the morning. Sleeping all the night on a couch wasn't ideal and the blonde had been a bit sore which, with the football game in the evening, was a big no. Yet, that wasn't what made her panic. No. Seeing her bruises exposed made her freak out. Really, freak out. And not for the reasons Elena and she had expected, such as the unwarranted feelings of guilt and shame of a victim.

As soon as she had opened her eyes, Caroline hands had gone to her neck. Elena, being the pushy brat she could be, had thrown up loads of questions and had asked - demanded - answers. Caroline had screeched, denied vehemently Damon's responsibility, screamed at them, gathered up her belongings and ran away, all the while thinking that Damon would kill her if he were to discover what happened.

"She's lying," Elena had pointed out worriedly.

Somehow, Madeline had managed to convince Elena to stay away from Damon for the moment and stick to their previous plan. Seeing the panic on Caroline's face had made her baby sis' want to maim the scary weirdo. And Elena could be quite creative when she wanted.

And there she was, decorating the roof with mustard while Elena was stalking the Edward to her Bella and Jeremy was at the Grill.

She was leaning over the ladder to reach the gutter, the bag filled with mustard seeds hanging on the roof, when Jenna's thoughts reached her. Her aunt parked the car in the alley and stepped out of it, books in one hand and her large bag on the opposite shoulder.

The tall blonde arched a brow when she saw Madeline on the ladder, "Do I want to know?"

Madeline shrugged out of habit and, for the fifth time of the day, almost fell down the scale. She screamed out of fear and hugged the bars. The ground suddenly seemed very far away from her.

"Time to go down little chimp," Jenna grinned and then thought, _*We've things to talk about.*_

Doing her best to not give the slightest glance down, Madeline climbed down the ladder. Only when her feet touched the ground did she relax.

She relieved her aunt of the books. And remembered the bag of mustard seeds on the roof. Oh well, Jeremy could get it later. Hopefully.

"So, have you found anything useful?" she asked, curious, once they reached the kitchen. She dropped the books on kitchen table and sat on it. "'Cause I've got plenty to tell you."

"Same here," Jenna replied and patted the pile of books, "I've learned quite a lot and I'm doing my best to not think about it. If I've failed, please try to look surprised."

Madeline chuckled and crossed her legs. "Don't worry, you're doing great."

"Really?"

"Yep, though I could do without you wishing you could order some house-elves to eat that Fell guy. You must really hate him."

Jenna leant slightly over the counter and put her elbow on the marble plate, "Logan Fell? I loathe him, he's a scum," she scoffed, "Anyway… Remember when I preached about how books were a wealth of knowledge?" Madeline nodded. "Well there really are. I was at that party yesterday and I said to a friend that you wanted to write a book on vampires. Thanks to my amazing acting skills, David took it seriously and steered me towards some folklore department at Duke University."

She brushed her blonde hair behind her ear, taking advantage of the moment to collect her thoughts, aware that Madeline was hearing all of them. "So, I called the department in the morning, got a grad student, Vanessa Monroe, who let me know I could come and went there directly. The department lost one of their teacher and it was a bit chaotic but Vanessa lent me some of her own books and gave me some information. Like vampires are supposedly unable to enter someone's house uninvited, they drink blood, obviously, have heightened senses, can control mind and sun burned them because of some sun and moon curse. Ah, and vervain is toxic to vampires and protect human from them so," she reached for her bag and got out a handful of purple flowers, "I went to a garden center on my way home."

Madeline blinked. Forget the octopus, being a cloud was clearly the better option in order to be far, far away from a world full of monsters. Her aunt was convinced of the existence of vampires and she wasn't sure how to react. What Jenna said actually explained quite a lot, such as Damon needing an invitation to enter their home. The blood… Well, it explained Caroline's bites and Stefan's thoughts. However, the sun thing was clearly wrong. Stefan wasn't hugging the walls around town to avoid sunlight. And mind control? Was Damon manipulating Caroline? Doing some Yoda thingummy on her?

Did that mean vampires truly exist? That Stefan and Damon Salvatore were vampires? That her baby sister was dating a vampire? How could it be? The broody weirdo had a reflection! Madeline was even sure that he spent hours before his mirror, because there was no way his hair was natural. Besides…

"But Stefan eats garlic!"


	6. The mystery flower and Doctor J

**6\. The mystery flower and Doctor J.**

* * *

Madeline turned the page of the old, thick and dusty book in front of her with a sigh, her eyes running from left to right as she tried to make sense of what was written on the yellowed paper. The sheet of paper cracked slightly under her fingers and Jenna, who was sitting on the opposite side of the table with a book of her own, raised her head.

"Be careful," her aunt reprimanded her, "that's history you've got in your hands."

"Right," she drawled and turned another page, "history on the very barbaric and gibberish-y Sun and Moon curse. How in hell is it going to help us with the Salvatores? They're already walking in the sun and I don't seen them burning. The whole thing is pure bullshit." Which, clearly, was a pity. They would make quite a good fire to roast marshmallows. It wouldn't even be called murder as they weren't human. Right?

Jenna closed her book and leant her chair back on the legs, one hand gripping the edge of the table. Though they had managed to find quite a lot of information on vampires, they couldn't be sure of their accuracy. Seeing as Elena was dating one of the Salvatore and the oldest brother was doing who knows what to Caroline, they couldn't afford to make a mistake. Especially when Elena was stalking her boyfriend and wanted to turn Damon in, and they couldn't watch Caroline around the clock. Drugging her had been a temporary fix, nothing more.

"Let's not forget that Elena can act quite impulsively when she's angry," Madeline said, breaking Jenna out of her thoughts, "and believe me, she was angry at Damon _and_ Stefan."

If Elena had her way, both brothers would be behind bars before the end of the week. And honestly, Madeline had no desire to see what would happen to the inmate population should such a thing occur. Human versus… vampires. God, she couldn't believe that she was even acknowledging the possibility of vampires existing.

 _*Look at that face. Totally thinking about vampires.*_

"You know me too well Aunt Jenna," she chuckled wearily before admitting in a quiet voice, "I'm scared."

"I know. I am too. But I'll do anything to make sure you're all okay at the end of the day." Jenna stretched her arm across the table and stopped her hand about an inch away from Madeline's, obviously forcing herself to not grip it tightly, "it's going to be fine sweetie, I promise. Vampires, werewolves, witches, mutants," the blonde cracked a smile, "or even Tinkerbell, I won't let anyone and anything hurt any of you."

"Please, don't stop Tinkerbell. Going to Neverland has been in my bucket list since forever."

"Oh well, I guess I could come with you then. To protect you of course…" _*and find myself a sexy pirate too.*_

"Seeing the lack of fuckable women on the island, you'll find yourself with the whole crew."

They looked at each other before they burst out laughing. All the stress and tension built up over the last few days left Madeline's body. It felt good, laughing like this with her aunt. She felt free even though her diaphragm was slightly aching. It had been years since she had been able to laugh like that, and the action was a bit foreign, but so damn good.

"You know," Jenna said after catching her breath, "I'm pretty sure it's one of these subjects I'm not supposed to talk with you." _*At least not aloud.*_

"Pretty sure I don't care," she replied with a grin, her lips stretching from ear-to-ear. "Anyway, I don't know about you, but I don't think I can stake a vampire. So… Vervain? How do we use it?"

"No idea. That's a work in progress. For now, we'll just keep some of it with us."

She lifted an eyebrow. "And how are you going to convince Elena and Jeremy to walk around the town with flowers? We can't just go and tell them 'Hey, do you see that guy? It's not a he, it's a it. A vampire. But don't worry, these little flowers will protect you from its pointy teeth.' I'm sure their face would be funny though."

"Obviously, when you put it like that," Jenna groaned, two fingers pinching the bridge of her nose, "Maybe do some grigri? And tell them when we know more about it."

"And Elena? You know she won't stop sticking her nose in the Salvatore's business until she can prove Damon hurt Caroline."

They both frowned, trying to find a solution to keep Elena away from the brothers. Besides telling her the guys were vampires, there wasn't much possibilities.

"What if…" Jenna began to say, a bit uncertain, "what if we tell her we suspect Damon Salvatore of the murders of these two people they spoke on TV last time? The two campers? And the attack on Vicki Donovan?"

That… could actually work. It even made sense. Mystic Fall was a small town. People knew each other, even without being friend. And yet, two people were killed by someone. Or an animal, if you were to listen to the media. A few days after that, Vicki was also attacked. Again, people thought it was an animal, but she knew better. She knew it was Damon Salvatore. Besides, what animal would attack someone's neck the way Vicki's had been? Then, Caroline's bites.

It definitely could work. Elena would stay away and hopefully, Damon and Stefan would go on their merry way and leave town. Then, the question of whether they were people or not, whether killing them would be a murder or not, would be irrelevant. Because they would not be there anymore. And she would be able to go back to watch the handsome and so worth drooling Legolas, and the deviously sexy Jack Sparrow. All the while pondering over the meaning of her miserable existence and the existential question of why Lord Voldemort had been reduced to being the dude without a nose who spoke too much.

Jenna coughed, reminding Madeline of where she was. Elena, vampires, and keeping the girl away from them. Right. She opened her mouth but Elena's voice in her mind stopped her from speaking.

 _*I can't believe Tanner is dead.*_

"Oh my god," she breathed out and stared at Jenna with wide eyes, "Tanner is dead."

"Shit."

Damn straight, shit. They were screwed. Like, seriously screwed. The guy didn't just dropped dead but was killed. An animal, she heard Elena thinking. Right, the same animal that tried to kill Vicki? A fucking invisible animal that love biting neck? To think all the students that had been at the match had seen Tanner's very dead body, lying on the ground in a pool of blood. The guy was a dick, but he didn't deserve to die like that.

Jenna and Madeline put the books away quickly, hiding them from Elena and Jeremy while the two of them made their way to the front door. Unlike their sister, Jeremy hadn't seen Tanner. He knew the guy was dead, but had been licking his wounds - nursing his bruised ego after having been pummeled by Tyler. His mind was in shambles, filled with both bitterness towards the guy and hope towards Vicki.

Elena opened the door softly and took her dirty shoes off at the entrance before coming in. Jeremy was behind her, his soles leaving traces of soil on the floor. There were bruises on his face, dark purple rings under his eyes and blood on his split lips.

"Jeremy, what happened?" Jenna asked worriedly as she reached him and grasped his chin between two fingers to look at the damage.

"He fought with Tyler Lockwood, that's what happened," Elena said curtly and glared at him.

"I was defending myself!" Jeremy snapped and pushed Jenna away. "I was fucking defending myself while you were all lovey-dovey with Stefan."

"Damn it Jeremy! You tried to hit Tyler with a piece of glass!" the brunette almost shouted, "do you even understand that you could have hurt him badly?"

Clearly, the evening hadn't been easy for the both of them. They were both at their wits' end and Elena was very close to slap Jeremy, which with his wounds would hurt him quite a lot. It wasn't that she was that angry with Jeremy. Of course, she was, but mostly, she had been scared for their baby brother. Still, she was right. Should he have succeeded in hitting Tyler with a piece of broken glass, the consequences could have been terrible.

Thinking of that glass made Elena remember the wound on Stefan's hand and how he had lied to her. _*I know what I've seen. There's something wrong with him.*_

"Enough!" Jenna sternly scolded them, "both of you, that's enough! Jeremy, you go clean yourself up, I'll come disinfect these in exactly five minutes. Elena, you tell me exactly what happened and remember that you're neither his mother nor his guardian. All right?" _*And Maddie, we'll speak about Tanner tomorrow, when we know more. Go to sleep, you seriously need it.*_

Damn, Aunt Jenna totally rocked.

* * *

"I can't believe she chose Tyler," Jeremy said angrily, finally voicing what he had been ranting in his mind while they were heading to the woods. And probably after that. "I mean, the guy's a dick, he treats her like trash, and she still chose him. Why?"

They were at a hidden pond Madeline had found years ago with Sebastian. The water was clear, always reflecting the color of the sky, and trees all around the pond kept it from unwanted stares. Truly, it was a place she loved, and swimming in its water had always been one of her favorite activity to pass time, especially when the world became too loud, too difficult to live in. While Jeremy was sitting on a rock, his pants rolled up and his bare feet in the water, she was floating, only wearing a dark swimsuit. With water all around her, embracing her in its invisible arms and protecting her from the world, her mind was her own. There were no voices in her head, nothing but her own thoughts. A peaceful silence, only broken by the murmur of the wind and the song of the Earth. Leaves cracking, birds singing. It was heaven.

Her eyes closed, she breathed deeply before answering her brother with a soft voice, "and she's a bitch, guess they make quite the pair."

"You don't know her, Maddie," Jeremy countered, "Vicki doesn't mean bad, her life isn't easy, you know."

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Poor Vicki Donovan. No, seriously, she could sympathize with the girl. After all, Vicki was just a troubled teenager, with a family life worse than Lucas and Nathan Scott's. However, it didn't change the fact that the girl could be quite a bitch. And it was alright, no judgment. As long as nobody called her kind because, let's face it, Vicki Donovan wasn't kind. She was angry, sassy and jealous. She could be nice, sometimes, to some - very few - people. And that was it. She was no angel, so Jeremy really needed to open his eyes.

Opening an eye, she glanced at her brother. "What do you even like about her?"

"She's beautiful. And when she smiled, there is that sparkle in her eyes. I don't know, she's just… Vicki Donovan."

"And she was there for you when no one else was," she whispered wistfully. She didn't need to hear his mind to know that, it was written all over his face, with the way his eyes lost their focus, his brow furrowing slightly and his head turned away from her.

"That too… I think… I want to be there for her too."

She turned on her stomach and swam a bit, her arms pushing and her feet kicking. What could she say? Jeremy was entitled to make his own choices, and if he wanted to dedicate himself to a girl who didn't love him… Well it was his choice. A bad one. A very bad one. But still his choice.

Oh, who was she kidding? Free will aside, she was his big sister. Giving him advice was part of the job, a bit like her tirade about Elena, her grief and her creepy devotion to the weirdo. A devotion which had disappeared when she had realized the guy had known Damon was hurting Caroline. So… not everything was lost.

She crossed the distance between them, came as close as she could without actually touching him, and stared. "Jer, you can't force people to love you," she said in the most tactful way she could do. "She treats you like trash."

He tried to deny her statement but she didn't let him speak and continued, a bit more forcefully, "And she told you more than once that she doesn't want you, or your help. Please, don't be that guy that can't take no for an answer."

"I would never!" he rebuffed her, the line of his face distorted in horror, "do you really thing I'm capable of something like that?!"

She shook her head, "no, of course no, it wasn't what I mean Jer. God that's messed up." His face relaxed, relief taking place instead. She inhaled deeply and submerged her head under the water to clear her mind. Clearly, she had said the wrong thing. Like, the really, really wrong thing. She lifted her head, "Sorry Jer, I think my brain and my mouth are disconnected, or the pathway between them is a big mess. I only meant that even if you're an awesome guy, you can't make everyone like you."

Well, it would be a lie to say Vicki didn't like her baby brother at all. She did, in fact. Yet, she didn't want to, and people - Jeremy - had to respect her will, no matter how hard and hurtful it was.

"Are you trying to be my therapist now?" he asked in a deadpan way, his head tilted to the side, "Cause we have Elena for that and you suck at it."

"Do you see me writing down your troubles and darkest secrets? Your deep, deep love for cookies and attraction to the dark side?"

A small smirk grew on his lips and he leant forward to touch the water. Then, he splashed her, his lips stretching further when she squealed in surprise. "Nope," he said, answering her first question, "you're only sticking your nose in my business."

Despite the harsh words, there was no bite behind them. It was as if they were speaking of the weather.

"You were the one who began moaning over Vicki not choosing you."

"Difficult not to, when right now, she's with Tyler at that stupid founder's party."

True. Elena was there too, with Stefan Salvatore. Same with Caroline, though her date was the other creepy, weirdo, and dangerous, Salvatore. Fortunately, Jenna went to the party with a purse full of vervain. Well, 'fortunately', should the damn plant really work against vampires. Which, honestly, was hard to believe. What was they supposed to do with them? Confront the creepy guys and throw the flowers at their faces? By the times it reached them, they would have probably killed them. Oh joy, what a wonderful world to live in.

Still, she trusted Jenna.

"You could have go too," she pointed out absently, her hand playing with the chain of her necklace, the pendant safely tucked inside her swimsuit.

"Right back at you."

The mere idea to go to that party - lions' den, really - made her cringe. Too many people. And the Lockwoods. Tyler might cared for her, but Carol Lockwood hated her guts. Not that Madeline blamed the woman. Her oldest son died because of his girlfriend, girlfriend who miraculously survived. No, she truly understood. To be honest, she would rather be far away from the woman too, because hearing her mind when they were in the same vicinity was torturous. Grieving had made the woman colder than she was before.

"Let me guess," Jeremy said again, "too much people?"

"Who's the therapist now?"

Jeremy chuckled and jumped to his feet. Water splashed his pants but he didn't pay any attention to it and walked toward her. The water wasn't deep enough for him to not be able to touch the bottom of the pond, but it still hampered his advance and by the time he reached her, his pants were completely soaked.

He loomed over her, smiling like the Cheshire Cat on crack. Or like someone having found the rarest - and Shiny - Pokémon. She wasn't sure which one was, though, considering how many Pokémon there were now.

"I'm better at this than you are."

"Sure you are Jer."

"I'm even here with you, listening to your sorrows, while I could be playing the new game I bought yesterday."

She raised her eyebrows. "Come again? Who's listening to who?"

"Well, I was analyzing your reaction to my - "

"Whining Jer," she cut him off, "whining is the word you're searching for. Alright Doctor J., what's the diagnosis?"

He sighed dramatically, one hand ruffling his hair and the other on his hip. "A terrible, terrible hunger for vanilla ice cream and the tremendous desire to go home and play video games with your favorite little brother."

She grinned, "this diagnosis sure has a pleasant ring to the ear." She looked at the sky. It was late in the afternoon and the night wouldn't be there before a few hours. "Look, I still want to stay in the water just a bit longer. So, you go home and I'll stay here just one more hour, two at most. No more, I promise. Then, once I'm home, we can play all the night for all I care."

"You sure?" he asked, uneasy at the idea of letting her alone in the woods.

"Sure, it won't be the first time I'm here alone. Besides, they have caught the mountain lion so all is fine." As if a mountain lion would have bitten a human neck without completely breaking it and tearing the body apart. The true danger was at a party. Far away from the woods.

"All right," he relented. He walked back to the edge of the pond, left the water and gathered his stuff. Before leaving, he turned towards her, a frown marring his face, "you keep your phone near you all the time, okay?"

"Don't worry Jer, you won't even have the time to miss me."

He nodded and left, leaving her on her own. She resumed her former posture, on her back, and floated peacefully. Thoughts passed her mind, her own musings. The water was holding her. It was almost fascinating how something so comforting could also kill someone. No death was easy, but drowning was surely one of the worst there was. Or, at least, that was what she imagined.

The water wasn't warm, far from it, but it wasn't freezing and she was used to the cold, now. Besides, the silence was worth it. So fucking worth it. She closed her eyes, breathed deeply. In and out. Slowly. Not sleeping, just relaxing. On hour passed. Then two.

The sun was setting down and she needed to go back home. Though she didn't mind walking in the dark, she was beginning to be hungry and the early promise of vanilla ice cream appealed to her stomach. And her taste buds.

She was going to stand up when the snap of a twig startled her.

"Jeremy?" she asked tentatively, a sick feeling in her stomach, "is that you?"

Then she was stuck in a cold and strong embrace, visions invading her mind, and her throat was torn apart.

Well. Fuck.


End file.
